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    dots Submission Name: Ashes to Ashesdots

    Author: The Conqueror
    ASL Info:    21/female/Missouri
    Elite Ratio:    3.48 - 178/204/42
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 799
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1218

       This was my attempt at a ballade.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAshes to Ashesdots

    How can you close your eyes to rest?
    How can you make our mother cry?
    Has a demon stolen from your chest
    and left you heartless where you lie,
    or did he ask and you comply?
    Did he sway you with greed or lust?
    Did you resist or even try?
    Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

    Don't you know you'll miss the best?
    You're passing all your chances by.
    There is love to be professed
    and handsome boys to send awry.
    You've cakes to eat and dresses to buy.
    You've yet to lose and give your trust
    and yet you leave, I wonder why.
    Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

    I must admit, I am impressed
    for you can safely now defy
    the pain and hurt of those distressed;
    you'll never have tears to dry,
    nor age to mar your lovely eyes
    Are you leaving me to rot and rust,
    while in perfect youth you rise and fly?
    Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

    I ask and ache for a reply
    but cold lips hold none and so I must
    kiss my dead and say 'goodbye.'
    Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

    Submitted on 2009-09-17 03:00:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is very well constructed, and very intense. I could feel what you were writing. I really have no critique for this besides the fact that i'm impressed
    | Posted on 2009-09-21 00:00:00 | by caelyn rose | [ Reply to This ]
    | Posted on 2009-09-17 00:00:00 | by Diablo Tapitio | [ Reply to This ]
      A difficult sublect to write about.....even more so in the form you chose. I think you held it together very well, and the form is all through the poem, without cliché, or being forced.

    A good exercise in discipline this was for you.

    Well done.

    | Posted on 2009-09-17 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      I read that the ballade is more difficult for English than for French poets, and when I read what structure and rhyme scheme was required, I was amazed that anyone could compose a lucid poem with it! I think you have done that nicely; this verse form would give me a headache I believe if I even tried it.

    How to move on after mortal loss has been and is one of the great philosophical challenges to the mind and soul. We that live must go on among the living, and cannot cling to what has passed, however great or little our sentiments! We can give our tears, we can smear our faces with ashes, but we cannot go where they have gone.

    Nice work pretty lady!
    | Posted on 2009-09-17 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

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