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    dots Submission Name: "Mother"dots

    Author: Clayman
    ASL Info:    28 - getting late
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 609/327/167
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 575
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1237


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Selling     off     her     face     in     lots
    we turn a blind eye
    to her caustic tears
    as we erect
    our exhalers of ebon air.

    She never agreed to this.


    Coerced she nurtures our defiled needs.

    Abominable children we are,
    crawling under mother's skin
    like thieving maggots
    after her jewellery,
    killing each other
    over things never ours.

    Mother weeps with fury.

    Evolved and mighty
    we scuttle
    as mother regurgitates
    glowing scarlet sludge
    to purge all disease
    and shake her jaws open

    to consume
    our intelligent corpses.

    With ire she blooms.

    Do all children test boundaries?


    Submitted on 2009-09-17 11:40:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice. All children push boundaries, and adults do as well, so I guess that means everyone does. However I don't think that was the purpose for writing this piece and definatly not all I pulled away from it.
    I adore the line, "Abominable children we are". Oh, don't we all feel like that! Who hasn't made their parents cry? or in the least grow some grey hairs? I am only a month away from being a mother myself, and I have worried over my little girl like nothing anyone would believe! Which thinking of my pregnancy, brought in the line, "crawling under mother's skin" which could be taken literally or figurativly.
    I really reading freestyle, Then I'm not distracted critiquing the mechanics of the work, and I can get to the good stuff easier!!

    | Posted on 2009-10-22 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      yes..we do. part of growing up is pushing yourself out. out of reach, out of mind...it's forcing yourself to depend on only yourself. sometimes you have to forget everything your mother has done for you to grow to become an adult. although i grew up without a mother and a father, my mother did remain in the picture on vists. a mother's love will always be there, so when we push away, we know they will never hate us.
    | Posted on 2009-10-06 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this. I don't know what line Jimi James is talking about, but that's a John Lennon lyric... "mother, you had me, but I never had you." I can't remember the song title (Mother, maybe?) but it crashed into the wailing ending of "Mama don't go, Daddy come home..."

    Anyway. I love this, it's something I think of often. I liked the arrangement, it's rather hour-glass like, and a little reminder of Time Running Out. I worried about the earth, ludicrously enough, but then stumbled over the Universe's wry reply one day, "Don't worry about ME, honey chile, worry about YOU... I'll always be here, always create anew, always outlive my scars, but you I will not tolerate forever..."

    It's nice to think we're going to take the earth with us, when we go... but she's simply going to throw a few blankets of ice and dirt over us, and keep growing, just like she's always done.

    And yes, all children test... that's why they're such despicable little beings.
    | Posted on 2009-09-17 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
    mother you had me but i never had you.
    thats the line i had to think about when i read this one.
    though it doesnt really fit but what the hell.
    dont really get why its formed the way it is.
    could you explain?

    | Posted on 2009-09-17 00:00:00 | by Jimi James | [ Reply to This ]

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