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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cormorant Song, Pt. I-VIdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AsiaticFox
    Elite Ratio:    5.98 - 200/200/161
    Words: 238
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 58
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1627



    Description:
       I have begun work on another 'epic', written in the same way as my previous epic ('The Posterity of Wolves').

    Here is parts I-VI.

    To be continued...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCormorant Song, Pt. I-VIdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I.
    Down in the valley (the cupped hands
    of the Earth), a black-and-white wonder,
    a cormorant giving way to song.

    I, a simple valley-dweller, have come
    to know the vast secrets of being.
    Here, in the warm embrace of creation,
    surrounded on all sides by Eternal Artistry,
    I sleep soundly and infinitely.

    Rising out of the valley (cupped hands
    send their blessing), the cormorant
    flies to the Other World, her people to save.

    II.
    I never get tired of looking at the sky,
    that glassy lake with an endless cavalry
    of white horses racing across it.

    Ommadawn flows gently into my ears.
    The wind caresses every inch of me,
    as if I were its lover.
    The sun shares a warm embrace.

    In this way, I become a part of everything.

    III.
    The sky clouds over and the sun becomes a day moon.

    I am almost there, that feeling
    somewhere between utter melancholy
    and I-just-want-to-fly.

    IV.
    Falcon embraces the sun.
    The cactus owl sleeps.

    V.
    As I watch crabs roam around on the sand,
    a she-duck comes to me,
    weary and heavy-eyed.
    She lays by my feet, head buried in mottled feathers.

    The waves sweep the crabs away.

    VI.
    All the fallen angels sing in a deceptively sweet voice.
    Sheep graze far from the flock,
    hungering for the honey-grass that is offered to them.

    Lamb chops, anyone?




    Submitted on 2009-09-19 08:32:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I thought it was like waking up from camping, and climbing down to the river in the morning... all the noises and sounds, all the wildlife and wonder...

    It makes me hungry, too... wildly primitive, and I want to kill what I eat. Marshmallows seem trivial. Ted Nugent makes perfect sense at 4am when you're feeling One with that wild river just outside of Eden.
    | Posted on 2009-09-22 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      Have you actually heard a cormorant sing? Like most seabirds, it is exceedingly unharmonious, a honking, braying screech. Of course you do realize that the alternative name for the cormorant is the common shag, so I suppose you could make a case for the cormorant song sounding something like, "Oh my God!"
    | Posted on 2009-09-20 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      i really enjoy this, the majority of it i felt was beautifully written, but there are spots i found myself lost, and that might just be me.

    Eternal Artistry.

    i'm not sure if theirs a reference i'm missing, but it seems to me it's capitalized to notate relevance, or importance.....i think italicized or some other form of notation would convey this better, but i could be wrong.

    and i hope you don't take offense to this, but i feel the piece would be better off with the last line omitted. it just feels like it hinders the fluency of the rest of the piece and changes the tone, but i might be reading to much into it, or it is "to be continued" so that might be intentional.

    "the cactus owl sleeps"
    i'm completely missing that one, and i'm sure its me. explanation would be appreciated.

    either way an impressive write. and one that can be read multiple times wih plenty of meaning to uncover. i'm interested to see what comes next in the series.
    | Posted on 2009-09-19 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]



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