[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: everything by its right namedots

    Author: caster
    ASL Info:    31.M.MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 136/280/161
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1019
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 718

       about: ...

    feedback: all feedback welcome.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotseverything by its right namedots

    mountains can sit so pretty
    such high peaks
    reaching through earth's chest
    strain just to feel security

    he said, 'these hills are not vanity;
    these hills are not like me.'

    holes two feet less deep
    explains everything
    smuggling it beneath my chest
    grasp at anything temporary

    he said, 'these graves are not permenant;
    these graves are our receipt.'

    buried myself under a mountain
    something poetic
    a letter pinned to my chest
    struggle to put words to eternity

    he said, 'these sins are all mine;
    these sins are not all of me.'

    Submitted on 2009-09-19 16:52:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      your reference to "something poetic" in line 14 and so forth is really something, i thought your ending to this poem was very intriguing. the description earlier on, however, confuses me, where you refer to "he" not being of "vanity" yet "grasping anything temporary". this is great writing, but, in my attempts to relate, i get caught up at this point. if you wouldn't mind, could you explain? again, thought this was very interesting to read.

    | Posted on 2009-09-19 00:00:00 | by nwproud | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]