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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: everything by its right namedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: caster
    ASL Info:    31.M.MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 136/280/161
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 804
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 718



    Description:
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    feedback: all feedback welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotseverything by its right namedots
    -------------------------------------------


    mountains can sit so pretty
    such high peaks
    reaching through earth's chest
    strain just to feel security

    he said, 'these hills are not vanity;
    these hills are not like me.'

    holes two feet less deep
    explains everything
    smuggling it beneath my chest
    grasp at anything temporary

    he said, 'these graves are not permenant;
    these graves are our receipt.'

    buried myself under a mountain
    something poetic
    a letter pinned to my chest
    struggle to put words to eternity

    he said, 'these sins are all mine;
    these sins are not all of me.'




    Submitted on 2009-09-19 16:52:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      your reference to "something poetic" in line 14 and so forth is really something, i thought your ending to this poem was very intriguing. the description earlier on, however, confuses me, where you refer to "he" not being of "vanity" yet "grasping anything temporary". this is great writing, but, in my attempts to relate, i get caught up at this point. if you wouldn't mind, could you explain? again, thought this was very interesting to read.

    tony
    | Posted on 2009-09-19 00:00:00 | by nwproud | [ Reply to This ]


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