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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Once, Just Like Before.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Eyamma
    ASL Info:    16/Sry, I'm taken/Alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 22/21/77
    Words: 177
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 795
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1208



    Description:
       I just typed it up tonight. xD Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOnce, Just Like Before.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Etched into a tree elsewhere, our love slumbers
    Curling and twisting through the cluttered branches,
    Weaving and basking ‘neath the satin leaves.

    It quivers with sweet nothings that you once breathed into my ear.

    Gushing out into a creek elsewhere, our hearts dissolve
    Flowing and drifting with the trembling current,
    Spiraling and bouncing against the rocky bed ‘neath the rushing water.

    Slowly they become whole with the adoration that once beamed in those dazzling eyes of yours.

    Blissfully falling from a mountain-top elsewhere, I risk everything
    Soaring and gliding on the soft, caressing breeze,
    Plummeting and unraveling to the eager plains ’neath me.

    I flutter with a knotted gut and blush stained cheeks that you once held so carefully in your hands.

    Resting across a meadow elsewhere, you make a promise
    Nestling and curling through feathery tendrils of grass,
    Breathing and basking ‘neath the radiant moonlight.

    You sigh with contentment from the words you once swore to always keep,
    A raging love that was forever meant to be.




    Submitted on 2009-09-20 01:53:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      'the cluttered branches' is very beautiful imagery.

    I also particularly like 'our hearts dissolve'- I think you've made that feeling of merging and losing oneself quite tangible.

    Your opening line, the whole line, actually, is great.

    There is this dream-like feeling to this, it's love tied up with the heady mysticism of nature. It kind of reminds me of Pascale Petit (I've been massively getting into her work lately), how she juxtaposes all these abstract themes, like love, with the jungle.

    It makes for powerful writing, I think.

    Something makes me think of totem animals, too, the soaring bit brought that up for me, but maybe that's just because I was talking about them this morning...

    Aly
    | Posted on 2009-10-10 00:00:00 | by AlyRose | [ Reply to This ]
      It seems like a dream written down... from an old carved trunk, down to the wings of whatever form love takes in the next form of being... Your transformations are wonderful in this. I like the reincarnate feel to it.

    I've just never trusted wings... too seemingly fragile, they are, no matter how strongly structured. The fearlessness of your choice to soar is stunning.
    | Posted on 2009-09-23 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]


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