[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Tear's Suicidedots

    Author: Xiallia
    ASL Info:    17-F-Missing Osaka[IL]
    Elite Ratio:    1.49 - 3/23/32
    Words: 588
    Class/Type: Story/Longing
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    4.6667
    Bytes: 3221

       O.o i have the strangest writing urges at the weirdest times.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTear's Suicidedots

    Note: Some Random Thing I Wrote x_X

    Tear walked down the empty hall of her Manson, long ago abandoned by her former family. She looked around with her deep blue eyes at the carpeted floors and the paintings on the wall which were covered in a thick coat of dust and cobwebs. She looked out one of the windows as the moon shown over the place, appearing a light icy blue.

    Stopping in front of her old room Tear slowly placed her hand on the door, closing her eyes and taking a breathe
    she put her hand on the dusty copper knob. Turning it she slowly pushed it open, walking in she looked around.

    Everything the same as the last time she came here. She walked over to her bed and sat on it. The blue satin sheets just as smooth and soft as ever, as if someone was keep this particular room fresh and clean everyday.
    Tear looked to her shelf full of her old stuffed animals..

    She got up and walked over to it putting her hand on her Teddy Bear she used to carry around since she was 3 years old. All of a sudden something caught her eye, it was the sparkle of a throwing dagger set near the mirror on the dresser. All though there was no light in the room the dagger reflected light from somewhere..was it the mirror?

    Walking over the the dagger Tear pick it up gently in her pale hands. Carefully she surveyed it the navy blue handle of the dagger seemed to favor her touch, for as she gripped it, it suddenly flew into the mirror causing the mirror to shatter into pieces all over the dresser and floor, and soon from the broken pieces of glass blood flowed.

    The dagger laying on the ground beside her feet lifted into the air and soon aimed itself at Tear's Heart.

    Tear smiled as she opened her arms as to hug someone.
    In the flash of an eye the dagger plunged deep into her chest piercing the flesh and tearing into the muscle soon reaching the the bone of her sternum and cracking, no shattering it as it reached the heart. Tear choked up blood as she fell back. She looked to the ceiling of her room as tears fell from her own eyes. She smiled as she welcomed her well deserved death.

    All the years of wandering are over she finally found her place of eternal rest, this is why her family kept her room clean this whole time.

    The blade in her chest slowing down her heart ans soon to a stop the Dagger laid there in her lonely heart.
    After All these years of hate for her family.
    Today she learned...that deep down they cared.

    Tear's Suicide Funny...was it not?
    She thought no one cared..until the end when she saw her room long after her family moved, her family, too much grief from staying in that house they moved knowing her spirit was still about.

    They knew one day she'd return to this place and go to her room, they left the rest of the house in despair as Tear's room was the only one there...clean and well kept..it was the only way she knew...that they really cared because they loved her too..Even if it took her a Million years to find that out.

    Submitted on 2009-09-21 03:22:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The style isn't bad, if a little too.... mopey.

    The only thing that bothered me was the ease she stabbed herself. It's not something you can just do... a real suicide would take much more effort. Like you'd have to be digging around the ribcage for it.
    | Posted on 2010-02-03 00:00:00 | by wivetwhisk | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Fasade written by jackz
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Bond written by saartha
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]