Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Frostbitten Souldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 522
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 1070



    Description:
       the first stanza was originally meant to be the only. i dded the second later. I wuz debating myself... should it be The Lost Snow Angel and The Frostbitten Soul?.... idk... but anyhow, enjoy... iretyped this from memory, mite have to edit it a little later, but this is it...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Frostbitten Souldots
    -------------------------------------------


    She’s an angel…

    who’s forgotten she has wings
    but I can’t help her remember
    down to earth, like the snow
    in the winter, December
    and there’s nothing I can say
    in cold gasps of air
    as my lungs thick with it’s pressure
    now collapse and bear
    my soul, exposé
    more as if it was written
    for if she is the frost
    then I have been bitten
    and with it, the story
    the coldest ever told
    of the lost snow angel
    and the frostbitten soul…

    llike so many times before
    I remind her
    who she is to me, truly
    if only she could find her
    wings… they’re right there
    attached to her back
    I just pray she doesn’t fall
    and not find them after the fact
    or that it never gets that far
    or gets that hard
    I just want it as in my memory
    if that’s par
    and in the shard is the story
    the coldest ever told
    of the lost snow angel
    and the frostbitten soul….




    Submitted on 2009-09-21 09:40:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      NICE i like this one especially the way it's being told VERY gripping :) I like the last few stanza's the most
    I just want it as in my memory
    if that’s par
    and in the shard is the story
    the coldest ever told
    of the lost snow angel
    and the frostbitten soul….
    VERY creative nice job keep it up :)
    peace & stay safe...
    | Posted on 2010-01-27 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a marvles peice, I like the title it’s very fitting and the analogy of a lost angel who’s lost her wing not knowing there still on her back. I know how it is when someone is in slumber lost searching for what they already have and you could help them or show them if only they listen. I also injoy the comparesin of winter, it seems when the heart is cold winter always feels like home. Again this was a splendid piece keep up the work.

    Faid
    | Posted on 2009-09-23 00:00:00 | by faideddarkness | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    178678

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry