Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: True Love Killsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: RaveAngel
    Elite Ratio:    1.62 - 0/0/1
    Words: 528
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 663
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2896



    Description:
       about a girlwho has been bullied, and now she cant tke it anymore she doesnt believe she has anything else to live for. But maybe she does


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrue Love Killsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    "Be safe"
    As she came into class
    Time went by fast
    As she sat there
    They started 2 stare
    The teacher said goodbye 2 her row
    she didnít want 2 go
    she kept walking
    But the boys behind where stalking
    she waited her fate
    But by then it was 2 late
    They charged from behind
    Without out a single sign
    As she hit the ground
    They turned around
    With a smirk on their face
    she had 2 get out of that place
    As she ran off 2 cry
    1 one boy stayed and said hi
    His name was Jake
    And he wasnít fake
    They talked 4 a while
    She loved it when heíd smile
    But when they were in class
    The good side didnít last
    When school came 2 an end
    He wasnít her friend
    He called her fat
    And a stupid twat
    He hung with the crowd
    And did what he was allowed
    As she went 2 leave
    She felt a big heave
    They pulled her back down
    Her head smacked the ground
    They beat her until she was black and blue
    Jake didnít want to join but they force him 2
    When she cried out in pain
    They didnít hit her again
    They seen what they done
    But this time it wasnít fun
    They ran away
    Not wanting 2 stay
    When she was alone
    It felt as if she had broken a bone
    She went 2 her house
    And walked in silent as a mouse
    Her mum was at the shop
    And her dad was out being a cop
    She went 2 the drawer
    And sat on the floor
    She wrote him a note
    With only 1 quote
    I love u
    I wished u loved me 2
    As she looked at the knife
    The thing that would take her life
    She cut face
    And cried which stung in every place
    As she place it over her heart
    She struck and that was the her final part

    Jake heart was filled with sin
    He decided 2 go see Evelyn
    He waited at the door
    Then heard a thud on the floor
    He walked into the hall
    Without a single stall
    He checked in the kitchen living room 2
    Then he went up stairs 2 what he could do
    When he found her there
    His heart filled with despair
    He read what she said
    His eyes filled with dread
    As he collapsed on the ground
    He didnít make a sound
    He thought off all the lies
    Then he looked into her eyes
    And said
    ďNow u are dead,
    What can i do
    Because Evelyn i loved u too!!Ē

    By Nadine Thomas




    Submitted on 2009-09-21 15:17:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Its crap i know hehe
    | Posted on 2009-09-21 00:00:00 | by RaveAngel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    178687

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Silly Rulers. written by MyPeriodical
    Human Progression written by ForgottenGraves
    Expectations written by taintedsmiles
    Hide away written by robbie
    Untitled written by taintedsmiles
    Rose colored glasses written by taintedsmiles
    Leyenda de Un Maldito Cobarde written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Agitations written by MyPeriodical
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    In God's Name written by poetotoe
    Heroína written by MyPeriodical
    Bust written by Daniel Barlow
    Next to you written by robbie
    A Donde Llegamos written by MyPeriodical
    Comparisons written by MyPeriodical
    Tired Vine written by MyPeriodical
    Meditations one written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Behest written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    Quoth The Skies and its limits written by MyPeriodical
    Sanctimony written by MyPeriodical
    Survive ed - right back at the beginning written by MyPeriodical
    Happy New Oblivion written by Pietro

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry