[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Last Nights Dreamdots

    Author: Belle De Jour
    ASL Info:    24/Female/Inside
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 335/367/53
    Words: 21
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1683
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 202

       He is in my dreams...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLast Nights Dreamdots

    Piano playing
    Blood rushing
    Touching skin
    Dancing souls
    Lips caressing
    Passion mounting
    Bodies tangled
    Two joined
    Converged as one

    Submitted on 2004-07-20 10:19:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is one of those poems that you read and go...damn I wish I was invited to that little party.

    More serious note though, using so few words almost describing flashing images, you really force the reader to draw their own conclusions and sort of read inbetween the lines. It's a talented thing in my opinion to force the reader to write the story for you. That might have came out the wrong way, what i'm trying to say is great job.
    | Posted on 2004-07-21 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]
      dreams, i love them cuz no one undrestands what provokes their content, ive had dabates on HOW to provoke a dream, , and i must say i have found a ceirtain partern that is very intresting, anyways, wen a drean like the one in hte poem is had, there is nothing else to ask for than to pray that memory dosent pull a funny one by high lighting and deleating, i hate it when that hapends, nice poem
    | Posted on 2004-07-21 00:00:00 | by ALURIO | [ Reply to This ]
      that is awsome, dreams like that can be so encaptivating, and when you woke up you just end up sitting there in awe remembering what happened. Two simple words a line, and only nine lines, and yet you packed so much passion into that piece that you possibly could have. Good job, and keep writing works that pack stuff like that, very very cool
    | Posted on 2004-07-20 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ]
      You know, generally I tend to avoid the poems that look like a bunch of random words put together in some supposedly ordered fashion, but what did it for me was the title. When I saw "last night's dream" at the top, I was given a context, and instead of just a bunch of words there was an understanding, because in a dream you don't get a complete image all the time. You get bits and pieces, and here you've listed the bits and pieces as they came. It's simple, clear, and devoid of busy, heady, or confusing metaphors. A pleasant read. Bravo.
    | Posted on 2004-07-20 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      its really amazing how...9 short lines can really express feelings, and deep ones at that...its a good write so keep it up!
    | Posted on 2004-07-20 00:00:00 | by eternaldarkness | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]