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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dreams do not come truedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1113
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 850



    Description:
       A dream that can never come true is a dream that should never come true...
    Truly as of 25-Sep-09 cold hearted being I am....
    Keestu


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDreams do not come truedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dreams do not come true...

    The world is cold and so shall it be in this hell that I live,
    Live..Why shall I so that the dream can see what it manifests,
    Created.. what has it, a creature with no feeling at all,
    Felt..darkness and only darkness in life to cry alone,
    Cry..shall I cry again as tears do not drain the pain,
    Pain..what is it. Is it love or is it life.

    Live.. why do I....Maya can you not see me crying on my knees,
    Sad.. why is that feeling and the only thing that I feel,
    Feel.. What do I know. Is this what cold feels like,

    Alone have been all these years,
    Blind I am with my eyes open.
    Cry shall I for the last time with a heart
    A heart that just died, long lasting apart.....

    from my Maya....forever....




    Submitted on 2009-09-24 14:35:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Intense, a spree of desperation and defeatist feelings set loose here. I feel the helplessness and the sadness come through but i feel you could add even more power to this to make it a true piece of face slapping art. Indeed it was a good piece that shows some potential here, i have to say it needs some color and a bit of impact but overall it is still good. I enjoyed it, thank you for sharing your pain in this.

    :-)

    -Svw
    | Posted on 2009-09-25 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]


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