This is incredible! I really enjoyed every line of it from beginning to end, not only because of the well-written verses, but also because you captured such insight in so few lines. You told a story through your introspective narrations that applied to everyone, not just yourself.
"Not a broken world, just broken people" was my favorite line and it really struck a nerve for me. You took all the problems facing humanity and boiled them down into a single, fairly short stream of consciousness and it was beautiful.
Well done, don't change a thing! I look forward to reading more of your pieces!