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    dots Submission Name: Horizonwalkerdots

    Author: Colten
    ASL Info:    19/Man?lol/U of I
    Elite Ratio:    3.05 - 62/99/43
    Words: 269
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 594
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1760


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    Gray grass on dry clay dust...
    Upon this decrepit land I walk.

    I walk away passing hours.

    Time slipping with cracking gray blades
    And dust drifting from my feet.

    This path pains me yet sustains me
    So on I travel into the ever present horizon.

    Once upon a time the land was good,
    I believe it was once called Eden.

    But that place is now mere Hope.

    The reality still exists but is hidden
    From human eyes imperfect.

    My eyes see much death and decay.
    Cynicism threatens to hold me.

    But I fight Him to save myself
    And my knuckles bleed profusely.

    Wait. I have just lied a little...
    I do not fight merely for myself.

    I care for those who hate the world.

    Maybe this empathy is my true pain.
    Not a broken world, but broken people.

    The gray dust continues to blow
    The wind continues her merciless howl.

    And I pause into a gray sunset,
    The path of my shadow falling into night.

    A world built on clay dust and gray grass
    Cannot support those who live forever.

    I know this.

    However, I believe in an immortal life
    Beyond the infinite back into eternity.

    Eden is still a reality through Hope
    And this grass still awaits the touch of rain.

    Though this present course pierces my heart
    The sun still shines in the horizon.

    As my friends succumb to this worlds' cynicism
    May they see me and wonder...

    Why walk, oh Horizonwalker?

    Submitted on 2009-09-24 20:15:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is lovely.
    | Posted on 2010-11-21 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]
      This is incredible! I really enjoyed every line of it from beginning to end, not only because of the well-written verses, but also because you captured such insight in so few lines. You told a story through your introspective narrations that applied to everyone, not just yourself.

    "Not a broken world, just broken people" was my favorite line and it really struck a nerve for me. You took all the problems facing humanity and boiled them down into a single, fairly short stream of consciousness and it was beautiful.

    Well done, don't change a thing! I look forward to reading more of your pieces!

    | Posted on 2010-04-28 00:00:00 | by Anneboleyn707 | [ Reply to This ]

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