Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Still moving.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Namlooc20
    ASL Info:    26/Male/Spokane, WA
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 359/327/107
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 689
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 384



    Description:
       Yeah, short. Simple. Straight to the point.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStill moving.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    To be honest I miss you,
    And I wish to kiss you,
    But we all know,
    that when it snows,
    I'll grow fond,
    in some other pond,
    For another girl,
    And make you hurl,
    But you've got him,
    so go for your swim,
    I'm just walking,
    silently talking,
    searching for my pond,
    so I may grow fond.




    Submitted on 2009-09-27 00:49:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the last two lines, it made me think about the over all poem a lot more. It's like a fairy tail really.

    I really began to think about ponds and little shoots of fondness sprouting up out of them, I t was really cute, and it had a lot of truth to it, even thought we want something/someone now, we'll always find something/someone else in a later time to want to go after.

    this was a good read, keep writing

    istalkmurdoch

    | Posted on 2010-05-06 00:00:00 | by istalkmurdoch | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    178870

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fasade written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Carry written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry