Pondering until midnight comes to my company,
I sit here striving the pain deep inside my mind,
Trying to gather and collect every part of me,
In fevorish wrythes, I try not to fall so blind.
Grieving of what I miss in my innocent yesterdays,
Thinking how easy it was, with you around,
Filling the void where I now hopelessly lay,
Failing to forgive the wrong I did as a man.
Life is so full of wonders, a gift within itself,
A frail piece of life can be altered though,
Just one shattered piece can submerse it ice cold,
Til everything you worked for to breath is taken from you.
You awake one morning, and everything is gone,
Not only the ones you love, but your sanity fades too,
Then everything in your life goes wrons,
Jut trying to find what ushers you.
The nightmares become a reality,
You give up the desire to live and breath,
You notice how this world can be so lonely,
Later it becomes impossible to stay happy.
Despite the loss and getting over the subject,
The hollow inside of you is a storm cloud,
Following your soul that limps dejected,
Locking you where dreams are not allowed.
Funny, the human mind becoming the enemy,
Or is it apathy in so many human beings,
That makes life seem so uneasy,
The conundrum alone numbs these feelings.
I have blocked so many feelings,
So many thoughts,
So many questions and responses,
To build a wall from the thoughts and pain,
That just speak to me
In every way.
I ask you not to cast me away;
I ask you to stay the night with me;
To guard and protect me;
To bring hope;
A small qualm says to me that my prayers do not matter.
For where hope would arise,
Those black clouds will come to perish everything again.
Moving so fierce like a wild fire,
To destroy everything in my world again.
Its the story of my life.
Only if I were to put a handgun to my head,
Then does the world care,
Only for that second, only for that moment.
It is back to nothing.
I'm not going to ask please anymore,
To break the silence and get the pain away,
Because it will never be.
That my friends,