Description: It's meant to be sung. It has different tempos throughout. Even spoken makes it sound better than reading it. It's not a suicide note. It's just my heart's predicament, and the first of 9 songs in my new series, sequel to Learn Live Well.
Title Pending.
Somber Violin Solo -------------------------------------------
Dearest Memories
Dear Unforgiven past
Dear agonies of broken hearts never mended
Dear pain that lasts
I wrote a song for you
I made it slow -
And a somber violin solo
To the razor sharp girls
The kind that get underneath your skin
And it seems a sin that things should end before they ever even had chance
to begin
You nicked a vein
You nicked a vein I'm bleeding out
Now this broken boy has nothing left save doubt
Oh kiss the girls
Kiss the girls before you leave them be
It's a farewell song cause in a year or two you'll probably never hear from me
again.
Seems a sin.
I wrote a poem
I made slow with a melody
And a somber violin solo
It's to my mom
I'm sorry I dissapointed you
And it seems a sin that things should end before I ever even had a chance
to begin
Oh nick the vein
I nicked a vein the other day
Now this broken boy has nothing left to do but pray
Oh kiss your moms
Kiss your mom before you leave her be
It's a farewell poem cause in a year or two I'll probably never hear from you
again.
Seems a sin.
I wrote a book.
I left it open on my desk
Dated 9 29 2009
Because that's the day I let my happiness end.
It's to my friends
I'm sorry that I had to go away
See it seems a sin that things should before we ever had a chance to let the things
begin.
I cocked the gun
Cocked the gun there's a melody of a chambered round
There's nothing left but the drum beat sound.
This is a beautiful piece, sad but very story-like. I enjoy the way you've positioned your stanzas, and flowed the story along.
I'm glad you've taken things from your personal endeavors and experiences and written them here. It's given me a look inside your mind, your life. Which I have missed so much.
It doesn't even necessarily need to be sung, rather than open speech, forward. It creates a melody all it's own, and I believe if you tried to convey the emotion that is inside the poem, it would ruin it.
Again, beautiful piece. I myself need to start writing again, but life has been so smooth lately that there really isn't any turmoil or abundant joy that needs to be expressed in poetry.
I thought the lyrics were a little angsty and by numbers in parts, but if they go with the song I guess I can't argue, could be an angst-filled song. I dunno, I don't really think they're great lyrics to be reading out on their own, but when it comes to a song it's all relative. It seems like you really got your point across anyway, which is a major thingm theres nothing to complicated, sometimes I read lyrics up here and I'm like; "theres no possible way you could fit those into a song", but yours definitely seem tailored towards something.
Submission Name: Somber Violin Solo
