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The Race

Author: Cayman
ASL Info:    31
Elite Ratio:    2.77 - 182 /168 /72
Words: 175
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 850
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1146


Just can't wait

The Race

Hesitation while there’s perspiration

Gratification emits the ultimate gravitation

While the persuasion evoke our imagination

I can’t wait to hale our relation!

Till gestation allows a mutation to our celebration

Each day brings finality to our different situations

Just the thought provides inspiration

The anticipation to our lives current cessation

There’s no complication to this restoration

Just love seeking a companion

Two souls seeking a mate

Hearts awaiting the queue to be together

The time will come and the world better look out!

Inspire the inspired and await the awakening

Vanquish any instability and speak from the heart

Love is the truth while hate is a lie

Tell me you love me until tears fall down my face

If love were a race we end up in a tie every time

Submitted on 2009-09-29 17:07:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Some of the rhyming employed here is simply shocking. It is SO forced and doesn't even make sense.

The nations location shuddders with anticipation of my eyes dillation, from alienation.

Masterbation, sallutations, mutilation, annihalation, redemtion, dimension. Elation at the fact you can rhyme words together etc etc.

Those parts took no effort and whilst you probably had a clear meaning in your head, it came out like a load of nonsense.

Try to avoid contradicting yourself, or getting involved with pointless contrasts: "truth/lie".

Some of your lines were okay, I appreciate you may have had a bit of fun writing this, but it's hard to take seriously,

A bit more thought could go a long way.

| Posted on 2009-09-29 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]

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