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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Racedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cayman
    ASL Info:    31
    Elite Ratio:    2.77 - 182/168/72
    Words: 175
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 421
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1140



    Description:
       Just can't wait


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Racedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hesitation while thereís perspiration

    Gratification emits the ultimate gravitation

    While the persuasion evoke our imagination



    I canít wait to hale our relation!

    Till gestation allows a mutation to our celebration

    Each day brings finality to our different situations



    Just the thought provides inspiration

    The anticipation to our lives current cessation

    Thereís no complication to this restoration



    Just love seeking a companion

    Two souls seeking a mate

    Hearts awaiting the queue to be together



    The time will come and the world better look out!

    Inspire the inspired and await the awakening

    Vanquish any instability and speak from the heart



    Love is the truth while hate is a lie

    Tell me you love me until tears fall down my face

    If love were a race we end up in a tie every time





    Submitted on 2009-09-29 17:07:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Some of the rhyming employed here is simply shocking. It is SO forced and doesn't even make sense.

    The nations location shuddders with anticipation of my eyes dillation, from alienation.

    Masterbation, sallutations, mutilation, annihalation, redemtion, dimension. Elation at the fact you can rhyme words together etc etc.

    Those parts took no effort and whilst you probably had a clear meaning in your head, it came out like a load of nonsense.

    Try to avoid contradicting yourself, or getting involved with pointless contrasts: "truth/lie".

    Some of your lines were okay, I appreciate you may have had a bit of fun writing this, but it's hard to take seriously,

    A bit more thought could go a long way.

    -Craig
    | Posted on 2009-09-29 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]


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