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    dots Submission Name: Hopedots

    Author: gothgirl101
    ASL Info:    18/F/Pelham,AL
    Elite Ratio:    1.99 - 10/41/17
    Words: 210
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Romance
    Total Views: 685
    Average Vote:    4.6667
    Bytes: 1225


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    When all about you is black with gloom,
    And all you feel is pending doom.
    When your bones are racked with grim despair -
    When every breath is a gasp for air.
    Keep on going, though you need to grope,
    For around the bend is a ray of hope.

    A ray of hope is perhaps all that's left,
    As your will to live has been bereft.
    You've lost it all, it's just no use!
    You can end it all, you need no excuse.
    But throw away that piece of rope,
    And give yourself a chance of hope.

    Just give yourself another day,
    Brushing aside what your thoughts may say.
    This is your life and you can make a new start,
    By ignoring the brain - just follow the heart.
    Taking baby steps in order to cope,
    And minute by minute you'll build on your hope.

    Build on your hope,. one day at a time,
    Though the road be steep and hard to climb.
    The hurts of the past - they should be dead.
    The fears of the future are all in your head.
    Just live in the present and refuse to mope
    Your life will sparkle for you're living in hope.

    Submitted on 2009-09-30 12:13:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hi gothgirl101 this is nice poetry to my mind. You do have what it takes and it rhymes quite well. If you keep going on this trend you will write high level stuff. Because you can.
    I always endeavour to change images as not to get to involved in one level of thought. Sometime I make it sometimes not - but I found it worth the try anyway.
    I love this one. Luv jm
    | Posted on 2009-12-08 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]
      Its one of the best rhyme pieces Ive read in a while..
    | Posted on 2009-10-26 00:00:00 | by GrIm:)ReApEr | [ Reply to This ]
      A ray of hope is perhaps all that's left,
    As your will to live has been bereft.

    this is the only line i would change...the rest was amazing. if i wrote this i would most likely say:

    a ray of hope is prehaps all we have left
    as your will to live depends on your last breath.

    but it works for you. and thats what i call poetry. things that come from you. im just being helpful.
    | Posted on 2009-10-01 00:00:00 | by PopRocksRae | [ Reply to This ]

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