Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dearly Departeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Xiallia
    ASL Info:    17-F-Missing Osaka[IL]
    Elite Ratio:    1.49 - 3/23/32
    Words: 278
    Class/Type: Story/Gothic
    Total Views: 1057
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1715



    Description:
       O.o" i have no idea what i wrote...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDearly Departeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    There she is, laying there peacefully in her coffin
    The pink silk lining it just so.

    She laid there her eyes closed.
    Her body laid there in the wooden box.
    Ready to decay when it was set into the ground.

    Everyone stood there some crying.
    Some showing happiness
    and some anger.

    One particular person showed.
    It was someone who loved her
    dearly.

    He stood near the door and watched everyone.
    He didn't cry for her.
    He just waited.

    ~~

    After the funeral was over, and everyone left.
    The young man stepped in.
    He wore all black. He had his hands stuffed into his pockets of his long trench coat.
    He smiled down upon the girl.

    Soon her spirit formed and looked to the man standing over her.

    "Are you ready to finally follow me?" He asked his eyes glowing a familiar purple aura
    The girl nodded as he held out his hand.

    She took his hand and gracefully lead her out of the coffin. They walked down the Aisle hand in hand when they arrived at the Entrance she took one look at her body.

    "I'm glad...to finally be leaving..." she placed her hands gently on his chest and rested her head on his chest as well. He summoned his Scythe and held it at his side as he wrapped his arm around her waist with his free hand.

    He whispered in her ear...
    "The Darkness welcomes you my dear...you will stay by my side eternally as my wife and as my queen."

    and soon they faded into the shadows smiling.





    Submitted on 2009-10-01 02:34:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179016

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The World written by jjd
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry