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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Broken Resolvedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JoelIsHere
    ASL Info:    21/ Male/ Indiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 8/27/28
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 694
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 669



    Description:
       Part four, my friends.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBroken Resolvedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Broken Resolve

    Now he is Home,
    With his Son and his Wife,
    The soldier’s unchecked cravings,
    Take over his mind.

    The blood of his king,
    Now sit on his hands,
    The Crown of his Father,
    Now rests on his Head.

    Not long ‘til the trumpets,
    Sound for war once again,
    The lust-taken king,
    Takes up his Lance.

    His lust for Crimson Waters,
    Shatters mighty nations,
    Subjugates mighty rulers,
    Crumbles mighty barriers.

    The crimson waters-his lust reigning supreme,
    Is the only shield for his broken resolve…




    Submitted on 2009-10-01 09:05:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I found this piece to be a bit heavy handed. There was just a little too much repetition for me. I do like the theme that you chose of someone taken out of an element they were in before and were used to, and being forced to cope with a new situation. I believe that if you reworked this idea, it would take it from a good write to a great write. Either way, you have taleent and keep it up. Drop by and comment some of my work sometime.
    Jeff
    | Posted on 2009-10-01 00:00:00 | by jayisademon | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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