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    dots Submission Name: a time to let go dots

    Author: joezwells
    Elite Ratio:    3.81 - 64/78/54
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 613
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 522

       not done yet i just had to write this down so i could get it off my mind, i plan to redo it so take it as work in progress

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa time to let go dots

    your days were numbered an painful
    i watched with tearfilled eyes
    everyone knew you were fading
    but she couldnt hear your cries

    now your laid to rest
    but it hurts to see you go
    the way that you were forced to leave
    it leaves my heart broken and my mind will never be at ease

    the joy you brought and the laughs that you created
    are forever embedded in my soul
    the love that you made us see
    is more than any of us will every need

    Submitted on 2009-10-05 22:45:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Its a nice concept but there are a few typos that are a bit distracting. Also the rhymes are pretty forced. It may be a good idea to read over fully and fix those errors. Try working on the idea and not focusing too much on the rhyme. if it fits, it will work naturally.

    | Posted on 2009-10-06 00:00:00 | by UnderlinedInRed | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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