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    dots Submission Name: A Journey You Promiseddots

    Author: Vermalin
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 15/29/21
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Mirror or Mask
    Total Views: 906
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 749


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    dotsA Journey You Promiseddots

    Come stranger, walk this path with me tonight:
    Take pleasure in the dark - come - take the air!
    Let my hand lead yours; your eyes hold fright.
    Remove all doubt, release your burdened care.

    Come, stranger, your buckling legs are too slow,
    Your face as wan as milk within a pail:
    We have a distance in this dark to go,
    A journey you did promise without fail.

    Stranger! To sit and weep is misery-
    Yours, not mine, for this path I know too well:
    Take heart, for you're unchained, have been set free!
    By that faint tolling of the distant bell.

    Stranger! Your dream is done and now we leave:
    Let others weep for you, let others grieve!

    Submitted on 2009-10-07 11:33:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I find this poem relieving, actually.
    I feel it's about transitions and letting go, or possibly holding on.
    Striving to keep moving.

    It's feels like you are trying to encourage him.

    Almost reminds me of death taking someone away. Even if metaphorically speaking, the death of something within him, maybe? Or an endless possibility of deaths.

    "Stranger! Your dream is done and now we leave:
    Let others weep for you, let others grieve!"

    That line was the part the really made me feel like something in it was ending, a 'dream' of some sort. And in letting others weep or grieve for him it definitely reminds me of him transcending from his body to a different place and you trying to make him not mourn for himself. Or possibly his losses.
    Helping him let go.

    I love this poem, and of course, I always love you're writing. You're an excellent writer. Really, look at that and tell me it's not the work of someone truly skilled.

    You've got a gift, Emily. A very lovely gift. :3

    And I wish I could critique it, but there really is honestly nothing I can see that needs change.
    | Posted on 2009-10-18 00:00:00 | by Eyamma | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a strange poem indeed hehe, i do not really know what to make of it except that it is written from a sad perspective or maybe dissapointment? I like your skill and the way you write, it has a kind of fresh feel to it.
    | Posted on 2009-10-10 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]

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