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THE CAT HAT.


Author: edcherry
Elite Ratio:    6.91 - 197 /67 /22
Words: 138
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1329
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
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Description:


HUMOUR.


THE CAT HAT.



I had a cat that took a nap but never woke again.
My taxidermist made from him a lovely furry hat.
At the front, its paws were folded saintly on my brow.
The head above surveyed the world with glassy staring eyes.

For the rear, he shaped the legs to lay behind my ears,
and cleverly he wired the tail to make it stand erect,
but left the top to flap a bit, so it would look alive
by waving merrily, as female cats were slinking by.

But from the rear the view was causing people to protest,
and say I'd stashed a camera , facing to the rear,
then swore in court they saw the lens a'blink beneath the tail,
so sad it is, my furry hat was never worn again!
----------------------~~<>~~-----------------------





Submitted on 2009-10-08 21:40:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Ha! I also was expecting a maniacal ode to the great Dr. Seuss...since his cat + hat combo is culturally ingrained...
but, I'm glad I got to read this story of an interesting, and unique hat!
I must agree with the previous comment of Glen's...you'd think folks would be warier of the cat's eyes.
Who'd ever look past a possibly blinking eye and focus instead on a possibly blinking butthole! HA! This tale tells all there is to tell about perspective...and tells it in the best way-laughter!
| Posted on 2010-04-19 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
  
| Posted on 2010-03-14 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
  Dangit, they (censor)ed my totally appropriate usage of "[censored]"! (below)

People who live in glarse houses ...
| Posted on 2010-03-14 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
  Could always wear it the other way round? And also - I wonder why folk were not suspicious of the glass eyes, especially since I don't suppose the taxidermist had installed a glass [censored]?

I once had a fur hat that my friend's cat always wanted to fight. My third ex-wife's daughter's useless boyfriend stole the hat in the end, so I got a psychic friend to put a curse on it. Well I never saw him again so hey. Did you need to know that? But your astounding story here made me think of it!
| Posted on 2010-03-14 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
  ha Cat Hat. I really got excited reading the title of this (big dr. seuss lover) and then just enjoyed the complete piece as i read it. and as for runes up there, im from Ky, and i agree, just at the state fair you can find enough questionable head/hair pieces around - from bongs strapped around a guys head with duct tape to the usual daniel boone raccoon hat, and dont forget mullets.youre a clever fella. if you ever need a taxidermy, i know where one is.

:) Ash
| Posted on 2009-12-08 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]
  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA A Cat in A Hat??? Or a Hat fom a Cat???? No no, it's a CAT HAT! yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

As a Southerner first, and a visitor of KY second, I've seen many dead things mounted on peoples' heads... the worst disturbing being the surgical hair implants of Pete Rose (this man has no shame... none). In fact, if you caught the last Klitchko fight, you might have seen them... he was the moron waving both hands and leaning into the camera waving at "Mom" because he gets no publicity anymore and is so excited to see himself in a camera... I bet he bet on that boxing match, too, whatcha wanna bet???

Anyway, my point was, his implants aren't aging. It's like looking at a rack of perfect self-standing C cups on a 87 year old woman. It's... scary.

Which leads me on to another question... if Pamela Anderson gets cremated... what's it going to look like? Will it be like a melted milk jug what shrunk into a little hard plastic black marble with gray ash stuck to it? Will they be able to cremate her in a regular crematorium, or will she have to go under some HazMat disposal law?

Something to think about when shoving Goodyear intertubes into your body and blowing them up.

Cat eye, huh? I'm.... disturbed. LOL
| Posted on 2009-10-09 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]


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