Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Creepy Mandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    2.98 - 75/191/246
    Words: 358
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 863
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2182



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Creepy Mandots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wince at teeth red stained yet still are green.
    Paranoia was white washed and shoved behind intrigue.
    This was the first mistake to have been found.
    Swing those hands around violently,
    hay makers and desperate screams.
    Touching and feeling never felt so good.
    Biting and degrading morals, raping everything you wanted to save.
    He was there,
    there was nothing you could of done, he was there waiting to force his love.

    "They do not understand us.
    They will start believing in us.
    They will not run from us.
    I will carve my name in their flesh making them pay the toll for us."

    Another scene,
    some more mean intentions.
    Flash of gold dancing with evergreen.
    His silver tongue spun a web of security,
    in a world of pigs they stood above all.
    Puppeteering free will which they charge us for.
    Manipulation of fate.
    This was epic mistake number two.
    For each one of us,
    except you and I,
    we will be the ones to pay for us, the devils game of life.

    "Ignorant fools bow down before us.
    Ignorant fool give us everything you own.
    Ignorant world just spread her legs for our exploitation.
    We will crush their very souls,
    selling them to the devil for his gold."

    A face so familiar, loved and keen.
    Moments come where shame disappears like snow.
    Yet this one is the most crooked and twisted of them all.
    Could it be that our time is up?
    This was mistake number three and the final one to end this trilogy of the evil that is inside of us.
    That face looking back is you.

    "Everyone must die sometime,
    I am going to get my kicks in before I go.
    Everyone owes me something I must take it now.
    Everyone knows I am the most crooked one of all.
    This is my world now,
    this is number one on top and I will hurt you to get what I want.
    This is my time and I will utilize every resource even if it is you."







    Submitted on 2009-10-10 16:04:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like the line "Flash of gold dancing with evergreen", it is a little confusing at first but it's that good kind of intriguing confusing. Right from the opening line it hooks the reader, good work. x
    | Posted on 2011-02-02 00:00:00 | by wilted_flower | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179271

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Collision written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hazy Half-Moon written by rev.jpfadeproof
    X written by homeless
    April 1, 2018 written by homeless
    Blank Page written by Chelebel
    your truest people written by Daniel Barlow
    Buried written by MyPeriodical
    Eyes written by homeless
    Chèvrefeuille written by rev.jpfadeproof
    I Wonder If written by Wolfwatching
    Untitled - May 14, 2017 written by homeless
    Wisp of You written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Post Naturalism written by cornonthekob
    coping mechanism written by cornonthekob
    I Believed written by homeless
    Untitled - 8/2017 written by homeless
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    Dreamt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Don't Tell Me You Love Me written by homeless
    More written by homeless
    No More Damn Love Poems written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Would You... written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Untitled 2 written by homeless
    Untitled: June 24, 2018 written by homeless
    Confessions and shit... written by Daniel Barlow
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Untitled - September 19, 2017 written by homeless
    Revised written by Darkwarrior
    Fizzy Love written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry