Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

FEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Author: stormkrow
ASL Info:    24/ male / Montello Wi
Elite Ratio:    2.59 - 51 /52 /39
Words: 108
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1213
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 343



Description:


Writen by my nephew just like Rage, Life,and Escape


FEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



FEAR

My heart is full of fear
I shed a tear on a broken mirror
All alone at the end of the pier
My remorse is so near that I cant
Find a cure

I feel the fear
It hurts to be here
I here the final jeer





Submitted on 2009-10-10 21:43:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Nice rhyming skills, it’s a little short but if that’s your thing then go with it. It’s pretty cool in my opinion, I really like poems that are based off of emotion, and always have :)

My heart is full of fear

I shed a tear on a broken mirror

My opinion is the opening was really strong then it kinda went blahhhh
still point being…I like it!
| Posted on 2009-10-10 00:00:00 | by DragonQueen | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



179275