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    dots Submission Name: Sleepless Halloweendots

    Author: JoelIsHere
    ASL Info:    21/ Male/ Indiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 8/27/28
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 832
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 557

       Re-Write of part one.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSleepless Halloweendots

    The lone wolf soldier,
    Writing a letter to his wife,
    Wrote a dream of untold futures,
    A solitary tear steaming down his face.

    Each day he was away,
    Burned a scar into his mind.
    His young son knew not the look of his fathers face.

    Walking into a lakeside garden,
    The soldier cut a melon from the vine.

    Staring off at the distant fields,
    Glancing 'cross the waters,
    A nostalgic feel grasped his heart-
    Bringing an end to His Sleepless Halloween.

    Submitted on 2009-10-12 08:58:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is such a good rewrite! I like your work and your way so much that I'm not going to be any good for a critic ... anyway, there is a typo: we for he in Line 5!
    | Posted on 2009-12-07 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]

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