Hun, I'd love to see this in story form. I really would. I think you could make a pretty good tale out of this. The luminescent, angelic mother and the dark, brooding father. A tale of both woe and wonder! I think it'd be a great story.
As for poetry, it's very modern styled. I'm more of a fan of old-fashioned poetry. Though, God knows I can't write it myself. xD A good example of my kind of poetry? Passionbyapathy. He's on ES. Check him out sometime. *sighs wistfully* He is absolutely brilliant.
There's emotion in the poem. I know a bit more of it than some might as I've been exposed to a little behind the scenes, I think.
Anyway. Good write. Keep at it. With time, anything can be mastered. :)
fall into his warm embrace/he falls into my warm embrace or we embrace each other warmly,
butwhat you have there is something like: "I put my hand into his warm hand and took his hand.
Aside from a few grammatical errors which I am generally don't make a fuss about, I have to say this piece was rotten. Seriously it was horribly cliché, the most original thing about it was that you went for shock value with incest, but the concept is dumb as a doornail. I see you thinking to yourself:
"ooooh I'm going to be dark in my next poem, so dark, bit of incest in there just for the heck of it, oooh I'm so dark and brooding, look at how I contrast darkness and light here, aren't I clever?"
Well no. Your not, this is some of the most generic writing I've seen on ES, I've come across badly written poems attempting to do something great, or good attempts, but this was really boring, un-imaginative and the most un-nerving thing about it is not that you may be implying an incestuous relationship, but that you were so desperate for subject matter that you barely thought the thing through when you did put it in.
Next time you try to write about something serious make sure you keep a bit of realism, the tone taken throughout was completely at odds with what you where trying to say, that's assuming you even know.