[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Vague Recollections Loosely Based on a True Story dots

    Author: shortandre
    Elite Ratio:    2 - 3/9/15
    Words: 632
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 582
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3300

       Every element of this story is true except the parts between "A pale..." and "...of my friends." LOL. There was a bar though!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVague Recollections Loosely Based on a True Story dots

    A pale sticky permi-haze of stale beer and cheap regret hangs low beneath what passes as a ceiling in the shambling building that the proprietors shamelessly attempt to pass off as a bar. The waitress is half an eternity into telling me the intimate details of her less than extraordinary life, pausing to laugh every few seconds as she reaches the more sordid parts of her history. Three kids by two different guys, the first two belonging to neither of her ex-husbands and the third coming to her by way of a cousin that overdosed on meth. The arresting officer was the dealer, but before she can relate the report on this information one of the more regular patrons of the bar gestures for her attention. I'm a little disappointed. Story was just beginning to get interesting. Then again... thank God. Thought she would never stopped talking. The waitress was cute though, but in a waffle house sort of way.

    She flashes a smile to me from across the bar. I politely respond and then turn my attentions to the task at hand. I rise from my stool and begin to make my way to the front of the bar, various eyes casting a dubious gaze in my direction. I pay them no mind. I have business here and I mean to see it done.

    The wary eyes of the owner follow my every movement. I am coming for him and he knows it. He also doesn't care. His face is a cross network of life and experience; his eyes the dull hue of boredom. I've seen it all, they seem to say, and you are not a surprise to me. I reach the front of the bar and he looks down in my direction. Literally. Not hard to do when you are a 6' 9" bear of a figure with arms that, though on a body that is beginning to show signs of age, still serve as a reminder former life filled with immense strength and fights. A slight smile begins to creep onto the corners of his weathered lips.

    "You're turn, little man," he growls, his voice sounding like glass and rocks wrapped in burlap and scrapped across gravel.

    He jabs his large hand into his pocket, pulling out a microphone and jabbing it towards my chest. I take it in hand and step on the stage. The music begins to play and I proceed to belt out the worst rendition of Prince's "Purple Rain" this side of William Shatner.

    The regulars howl along with me, drunkenly off key and filled with the jubilation of the moment. Those less inebriated however, cringe at every missed note and off key warble exacerbated by the random squeal of the feedback. The bar owner is next to the waitress that regaled me with her story, impatience draining into his face as she gestures and glares towards one of the customers at the end of the bar. Whatever the issue, she is upset and the customer, upon seeing the owner, it is decidedly later, is wisely ushered out of the door in a very hurried manner by a couple of his less drunken buddies.

    I finish the song, my impromptu background singers continuing far beyond the performance. They can have the moment. I step off the stage and settle into the smiles and high fives of my friends.

    Submitted on 2009-10-14 15:47:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I'm gonna say I wish there was more... the whole thing was good, I could picture the bar and and the drunk people singing along with the character. it kind of reminds me of a friend who is in the Navy who does karaoke every weekend.
    | Posted on 2009-10-16 00:00:00 | by Darkest Flaw | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Stretto written by saartha
    Legends written by poetotoe
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]