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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bee stings (Veil of shit)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Flynn
    ASL Info:    24/M/MI
    Elite Ratio:    3.77 - 74/123/48
    Words: 338
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Angry
    Total Views: 546
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2259



    Description:
       Purely completely selfish message to you, old friend, upon whom I invested and wasted so much of my time.
    You are to me what I am to you.
    Shit.

    Old friendships fall hard, and the bee's sting leaves a legacy of fuck all.

    Fuck Michigan.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBee stings (Veil of shit)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm leaving you
    Behind
    Like you left me
    In dust
    Rust
    Decay
    Lies, the shit you say
    Fuck me over like you did every day

    My twitterpated eyes could not see
    Through the curtain of shit drawn over me
    This is how it all begins
    How it all will end

    Once I said fuck you all
    Once I screamed off this rust
    Once I sang of my lust
    Once I sang of my pain

    Heard enough from you now
    Heard everything
    Do what your told
    Bow down like
    the one's you've served
    Maybe I'll show you mercy
    You'll get what you deserve

    I am the Joker
    The smile's a scar
    left by the agony of what you are
    A bee who stung
    Never listened to the songs I've sung
    Heard their words
    Not their meaning
    With a vital penstroke I am cleaning
    my life of you
    of all you do
    the lies, the shit
    the vein, you hit

    My twitterpated eyes could not see
    Through the curtain of shit drawn over me
    This is how it all begins
    How it all will end

    Heard enough from you now
    Heard everything
    DO AS YOU ARE TOLD
    Bow down like the
    ones you claim you've served
    Maybe I'll show you mercy
    (fuck) You'll get what you deserve

    You're tearing me to pieces
    Threw my heart gainst the wall
    I've bared it all before you
    'Told me you've heard it all
    Wallow in your self pity
    You like to be in pain
    You've said this all before now
    You're saying it again'

    I'll be widening this fracture
    I'll put fire to your faded picture
    Put the sharpened edge on our vein
    I'll be wallowing in my pain

    In your lies, your shit
    The vein, you hit
    The words, you spoke
    Honesty lies in lies you took
    I'll give, you'll take
    And know I'll forsake

    Cause this is how it all begins
    This is how it all will end.




    Submitted on 2009-10-15 00:05:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, a really powerful piece. A lot comes to mind, too much to write down and seemingly disconnected anyway.

    There's a lot of anger flowing from it, and it made me think of betrayal of some kind, or suppression, betrayal of trust.

    I am the Joker
    The smile's a scar
    left by the agony of what you are

    I particularly liked how this part flowed, but also because of what it implies, seeing as those that are hurt hide behind a smile. Sometimes it's painful to watch, not many see what's hidden behind the mask. I digress.

    I'm leaving you
    Behind
    Like you left me
    In dust
    Rust
    Decay
    Lies, the [censored] you say
    [censored] me over like you did every day

    I like the minimalistic wording again, each word weighs a ton, quick and meaningful, that's what I like. Some parts of the poem don't flow as well as this part in my humble opinion.
    It tells the entire story in just a few words, broken sentences. Flawless, no needless words.

    All in all it's perfect, frustration you couldn't have voiced otherwise, written down in words.
    I hope it leaves you in peace now.

    ~Urisen

    | Posted on 2009-12-27 00:00:00 | by Urisen | [ Reply to This ]
      So harsh

    So cold

    I open my wings

    For your slumber

    Shuddering, the feathers

    They tremble

    I will hide the darkened light

    Behind a veiled seraphim's sheet

    Here you will rest

    Here you will sleep

    I lull your nightmares

    With songs so sweet

    A haunting caress

    'Gainst your cheek so wet

    Stained with tears

    Of rust, regret

    Here you will find solace

    A kiss so tender to taste

    Your own, your place
    | Posted on 2009-10-15 00:00:00 | by SanctityExposed | [ Reply to This ]
      "With a vital penstroke I am cleaning my life of you" -I love that line. It sent shivers down my spine, left cold surges pulsing throughout my body.

    The unfortunate thing is that I know the feeling this piece of yours is conveying, but from the other side of the table. It was heartbreaking, at least at first, to lose her. I "lost" a friend of mine because she thought I betrayed her trust. It was a huge misunderstanding. However, I suppose I am better off. I wish her all the best. I took every blow she delivered, all the way down. -obviously that's what she wanted. I couldn't argue with her.

    "I screamed off this rust" also really hit me. As cliché as it may be to say, that was quite the poetic line within this work. I mean, there were a few of them that really stood out, but that one I loved.

    I better stop rambling.

    C.
    | Posted on 2009-10-15 00:00:00 | by misschalloner | [ Reply to This ]


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