Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: six:thirtydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: isabella
    Elite Ratio:    6.51 - 414/391/193
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Misc
    Total Views: 79
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 610



    Description:
       a recurring theme...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssix:thirtydots
    -------------------------------------------




    and sometimes grace has a way of slipping right along side me.


    i'm not fully aware, until i feel it in my bones. oh, how it warms aches. makes longings long less. pulls apart-heart-pieces into a different direction. burns a map inside my head i can't forget.
    (it's a little squeeze); like the one i get when my four year old
    friend holds my hand, telling that somewhere-deep-down:








    you're gonna be okay.





    Submitted on 2009-10-15 05:56:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Now I'm really sticking to my suggestion of compiling these little snippets together. They would generate one hell of a force to reckon with I'm sure.
    | Posted on 2009-11-20 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      
    When my head's caught in a storm, I come to your page because you have the gift of capturing the simple things. More than that, there is deep and fond appreciation which makes me take a step back and be thankful, too. In a world that's so complicated, sometimes the most healing hand comes from a four-year-old friend untainted by grayness.

    I really loved the image of 'burns a map inside my head.' There is a song I listen to, that I don't really like, only for one line that repeats a few times: 'on his face is a map of the world.'

    Anyway, I didn't have a lot to say to begin with. Just letting you know I still read your page and it gives me real comfort.

    Alia
    | Posted on 2009-10-27 00:00:00 | by O | [ Reply to This ]
      
    You're going to be okay.

    It's such a simple phrase, but I think we all need to hear it more often than we like to admit. What is important is holding onto those who are able to say it to you.

    I like this image; how comforting a child can be. And I like the different aspects you have put within this one small paragraph. The apart-heart-pieces in conjunction with a map brings to mind a geography that, as you are so wonderful at capturing and emphasizing, is distinctly human. Recurring themes just mean that they are significant and in need of attention.

    One small thought to throw out there has to do with formatting because I'm a nut: maybe separate the first line so that it stands on its own? I love how the title segues into it, but feel that it needs just a little extra space to contemplate before pulling head-long into the body of the write.

    ----

    and sometimes grace has a way of slipping right along side me.

    i'm not fully aware, until i feel it in my bones. oh, how it warms aches. makes longings long less. pulls apart-heart-pieces into a different direction. burns a map inside my head i can't forget.
    (it's a little squeeze). like the one i get when my four year old
    friend holds my hand, telling that somewhere-deep-down:

    ---
    | Posted on 2009-10-23 00:00:00 | by Lady of Shalott | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is perfectly balanced and measured and said. I love the opening, the grace line... very captivating start. And I know exactly the feeling you're talking about, it's like an Alignment With God almost, if there is such a thing, and the sky is just limitlessly blue in your heart and very very okay. I love that feeling. I envy those people who live in that surrealist feeling, those are the ones with that golden glow I think. Jesus probably had it, but who knows. Maybe he was just swarthy and scary when he preached, all Waco-crazy and arm-waving hysterics. Anyway, not that he has anything to do with this, but you know what I mean...?
    | Posted on 2009-10-18 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      I suppose I could be vague and just blame you for inefficient output (eg. saying "there's not much to digest here") but that would be belligerent. The simplicity of this piece gives way to much deliberate liberty for the reader, to think. I think people have forgotten what this means, the liberty to think. An overture, or ouverture as the french would say; that, which in its finality, leaves the subject on an open note. It is as if they take it for granted, that simple fact of ponderation... The guilty liberty we all have, as individuals, to think regardless of what has been said, regardless of what will be said, regardless of all that we choose to ignore.

    Think

    Anyways, I am focusing too much on details, I guess. One thing I noted about your writing is the concurrent ellipses (so I proceed to focus on other details =P). It's not a bad thing at all, as stylistically, I can see the value of such things - and I'm not just saying that to make you acceptable, it is true.

    In a more general way, I guess all that needs to be said is...




    You're going to be okay...



    Although, when are we not okay? Alive is alive. Not that we'd know the difference....
    | Posted on 2009-10-17 00:00:00 | by Outlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      i needed to read this just-now!

    your words, as always, a balm. thanks :)

    b
    | Posted on 2009-10-16 00:00:00 | by biska | [ Reply to This ]
      ...
    | Posted on 2009-10-15 00:00:00 | by slingerofink | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179409



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry