So, over the past few days, I have found myself fading from my best friend. As I watch I see why I do it, but I'm still bothered by it. I have the friends who do not like the shine, but then when they comment on how I am noticed, it upsets me.
I don't think even understand it. I'm outgoing, yes, because people need someone in their life that is out going. However, I have seen a lot of out going people push people away, why? The reason why is because they keep getting jabbed at. Out of all my friends, I'm the one messed with the most.
I may have tougher skin, but when all you friends all say the same thign about, how everyone notices you, and not them. You can start to feel like shit. I know I have.
Over the past year, I have watch her grow up, yes she still says, "Everyone looks at you."
No one looks at me anymore. I'm nothing now. Because everyone is used to me, and I faded out.
Does no one realize how little the out going person talks now? Does no one see how little they say or move? Look around. I have. I have seen so many people stop talking over the years. Hell my other half who went into the navy has gone to extreems because of this.
He was the spark of our highschool life, and now in the navy, he talks to no one, and decided to go to guam.
Anyway. I wish I knew how many people honestly noticed their friends. I see how my sister is going more and more depressed, and how the other one is about to push herself over the edge with all she wants to do (none blood sisters btw).
I have seen my gay best friend grow more and more tired, and how David has turned into someone who doesn't care about living on his own.
I have seen my boyfriend go through to many thoughts in one night, and I have seen how little he thinks of himself.
I wish that they would all notice each other and see how little they talk now.
And maybe you need to do the same thing.
Look and see how many of your friends have grown quiet, their voice changed. They voice gone.
Anyway untill the next time I need to ramble