Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Suicide, Sweet Suicidedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KindredSpirit
    ASL Info:    20, Male, Burlington Iowa
    Elite Ratio:    2 - 54/139/173
    Words: 255
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 723
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1439



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSuicide, Sweet Suicidedots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I am so lame,
    Then why do you stay?
    If all stays the same,
    Then why do you pray?
    If I'm so evil,
    Then why do I cry?
    And if all hangs by the steeple,
    Then why do I fry?

    "If you so wish to burn in hell,
    Then there we shall dwell.
    But if you so choose to come around,
    Then never shall we be six feet underground."

    If you care,
    Then why do I hurt?
    If I glare,
    Then why do I flirt?
    If I lie,
    Then why do I mean what I say?
    If I cry,
    Then why don't you hold me anyway?

    "I'm in your mind,
    In a part that you'll never find.
    Here I too cry,
    Here I too fry.
    But why am I to blame,
    When things never stay the same?"

    You've been there to confort me,
    You've been there to anger me.
    You've been there to cheer me up,
    You've been there to tear me up.
    Whenever anything good presided,
    You were there as it collided.
    Whenever anything bad presented itself,
    You always helped me humiliate myself.

    "Yes this is true,
    Now, what does this have to do with you?"

    I'll show you,
    The pain you put me through.

    *Gunshots sound*




    Submitted on 2009-10-16 11:45:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Woah, really, really, good. In fact, I'm going to favorite this one. It definatly captures some meanings to things that I've been thinking about. (Not entirely the suicide part but other observations) It's all true! wow!
    | Posted on 2009-10-17 00:00:00 | by Peacejoe | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well thought and well planned out piece that explicitly details the person's thoughts. Nice and creepy...lol.
    | Posted on 2009-10-16 00:00:00 | by Cayman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179462

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Carry written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Cover written by saartha
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry