Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Takedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Fanfic/What you did
    Total Views: 990
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1065



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTakedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take this mind of mine,
    this mind of slush,
    take it with you when you leave,

    Hold it tight for I know it cannot escape when with you,
    behind those bars you live within

    Take this heart of mine,
    this heart of sorrow and pain
    take it with you when you leave,

    Place a steak knife dead center into it, stick it in your mattress,
    for this part of me is sneaky

    While you're at it...
    take my soul with you for YOU HAVE KILLED IT ANYWAY
    It is simply dragging me down at this point

    For I loved you as a Father,
    I looked up to you as a Friend,
    As someone I wanted and hope to be,
    Someone whom I hoped I never disappointed...

    Now I am lost with...

    NO MIND
    NO HEART
    NO SOUL

    Thank you!
    For I am walking zombie like,
    unaware of how much longer this will last...




    Submitted on 2009-10-19 07:04:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      aye Jackz.... in the end... love is a well spring we own... it is ours.... as they say, first love yourself and then love the world.... Armour plating for those who care enough to give love to others..... love the honesty in your work :)
    | Posted on 2009-12-10 00:00:00 | by col13x | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179529

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Giving written by jjd
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To written by SavedDragon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry