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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Takedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Fanfic/What you did
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1065



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTakedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take this mind of mine,
    this mind of slush,
    take it with you when you leave,

    Hold it tight for I know it cannot escape when with you,
    behind those bars you live within

    Take this heart of mine,
    this heart of sorrow and pain
    take it with you when you leave,

    Place a steak knife dead center into it, stick it in your mattress,
    for this part of me is sneaky

    While you're at it...
    take my soul with you for YOU HAVE KILLED IT ANYWAY
    It is simply dragging me down at this point

    For I loved you as a Father,
    I looked up to you as a Friend,
    As someone I wanted and hope to be,
    Someone whom I hoped I never disappointed...

    Now I am lost with...

    NO MIND
    NO HEART
    NO SOUL

    Thank you!
    For I am walking zombie like,
    unaware of how much longer this will last...




    Submitted on 2009-10-19 07:04:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      aye Jackz.... in the end... love is a well spring we own... it is ours.... as they say, first love yourself and then love the world.... Armour plating for those who care enough to give love to others..... love the honesty in your work :)
    | Posted on 2009-12-10 00:00:00 | by col13x | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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