Alone and forgotten by PopRocksRae

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Submission Name: Alone and forgotten dots

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Author:	PopRocksRae
ASL Info:	16 going on 17
Elite Ratio:	2.72 - 174/201/192
Words:	94

Class/Type:	Poetry/Lostfriend
Total Views:	38
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	551

Description:
forgiveness sounds good, forgiveness im not sure i could. they say time heals everything, but im still waiting.
-dixie chicks-

Alone and forgotten dots

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alone and forgotten
is the sound of pain this loud?
have you forgotten about me
and the way i let you down.

aussi am I a ghost?
was I just in your head?
best friends and once in love
can often leave you dead.

I fly above you every day
I watch the guy i used to know
maybe he will noticed me
but he only lets me go.

place the flowers on my grave.
tell no one you were here.
I alone and forgotten
cus you made me disappear.

Submitted on 2009-10-19 13:27:03 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Wow. its been a while since i got to read something that seemed to have come very easily. The second paragraph is what i really liked.
"best friends and once in love
can often leave you dead."
That is really too true its sad.
| Posted on 2009-10-21 00:00:00 | by cor | [ Reply to This ]
  the second line of the poem 'is the sound of pain this loud?' impressed me a lot... the poem over all leaves a deep impression on the mind. the last para also start a very well. but i feel it could be just a little better, maybe in the middle, because the metaphors you have shown at the start are very good to stand up to the 3rd paragraph... keep up the good work
| Posted on 2009-10-20 00:00:00 | by rsujith | [ Reply to This ]
  (you know to spellcheck and grammercheck)

No worries Rae. You were kinda harsh to him. Give it time.
| Posted on 2009-10-20 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]

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