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    dots Submission Name: Insomnia.dots

    Author: Theophilus
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 116/174/95
    Words: 484
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1165
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2694

       r . i . p . mum.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.



    A few minutes past midnight and the rain
    Hits the front steps and splatters to land
    On our toes and knees and mists our faces
    But your breath is hot on my cheek and
    Your arms are locked around me and
    Your legs tangled with mine and ive never
    Felt more safe and content in my life.
    We leave the front door open and lay there
    Staring out into the roaring frantic darkness
    The wind runs his fingers through our hair
    The rain kisses our faces every few moments
    And a flash of light burns a scar in the sky
    We both smile, awed at the beauty of it all.
    But the thunder was our favorite part
    When he growled we felt the air around us
    Tremble, but we breathed in his anger.
    Lightening always reminded me of angels,
    And id whisper prayers for them in my
    Baby lisp and tell God in a firm little voice
    That He better keep them safe tonight.
    And then Id bury my face in your neck
    And id let your breathing rock me to sleep.


    You know I still go for walks in the rain.
    Especially thunderstorms, especially at night.
    Because thereís no one there to bother me,
    Not even the crazy 3 am dog walking couples,
    Even cars race by in a hurry to be home in their
    warm cozy beds. But sleep isnt very comforting anymore,
    Not without your lullabies in my ear and
    Your breath warming the back of my neck,
    But i still curl up like i used to, only now
    Itís not your arms around me, its just me and the covers,
    They donít hold me the same.
    I miss you I miss you I miss you.


    Sometimes id wake at night and I couldnít
    feel your arms around me and the bed was cold
    Beside me and id jerk upright in bed and id just panic,
    Id be so scared, like the demons were just everywhere
    And they were all clawing at me and I didnít know
    What else to do, so id just cry until you heard me,
    And youíd tell me itís okay and you were just getting
    a midnight snack or you were in the bathroom
    Or you were knitting in your rocking chair and
    You always promised youíd be right back, go back to sleep baby.
    But you know Iíd watch you walk away and I never fell asleep
    Until you came back, maybe just a few minutes, maybe hours,
    But I always stayed awake until you came back and held me
    and then everything was okay again, and I could sleep.

    Maybe thatís why I have such trouble sleeping.

    Submitted on 2009-10-19 19:33:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "Lightening always reminded me of angels"
    Unique and touching, I like it.

    "I miss you I miss you I miss you."
    I think that the point could be made by saying this just once, instead of multiple times. It seems a little frantic, where I think it would be better left hanging, almost.

    "were just getting
    Having a midnight snack"
    Would maybe do better without "getting", and would still fit your pattern.

    I approve of the way you switched time periods? This is a great write.
    | Posted on 2009-12-22 00:00:00 | by lechuga | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with both former comments, only, I'm crying right now. Cause it reminded me of my Aunt who I no longer am allowed to live with. Yeah, life connections are great, I love this, but I hate it for being so damn understandable. Kudos gal, kudos . . .
    | Posted on 2009-10-31 00:00:00 | by Scaredheart | [ Reply to This ]
      okay ...my heart stalled somewhere mid way and now all i can say is...man you have so much soul in your writing
    (and i'm about to say something that makes me cringe) for one so young...blahhh hate the taste of that in my mouth
    i have no critique, i think that this for you to remember for us to absorb and for angels to feel under their wings

    thanks for sharing (and thank goodness i have tissues)
    | Posted on 2009-10-20 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      dang girl.
    | Posted on 2009-10-20 00:00:00 | by ma | [ Reply to This ]

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