Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Kirsten's First Opusdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jayisademon
    ASL Info:    22/M/SoILL
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 129/81/88
    Words: 257
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 404
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1690



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKirsten's First Opusdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I felt something today,
    a clumsy inkling in the knots of my wrist,
    writhing to forge new life,
    to all of yesterday's headlines.

    I dropped a bullet in a spinnerette,
    and oh! how it spun,
    waiting for precisely the right moment,
    to make it's triumphant escape.

    I've dealt in misfortune,
    and less than duly deserved attire,
    I've bed witches and women,
    of earthly good.

    I must say I prefer the former,
    for its far more my taste,
    to watch indecency,
    turn into a new kind of love.

    Should I be saved,
    should I not speak of yesterday,
    and try to rebuild from the ruin of my past affairs something that announces a result.

    I only look for tragedy,
    I get the most pleasure from those who can only destroy me,
    So tell her if you see her,
    I'm counting down from 6 to 1.

    Also, in postscript,
    send her a reminder of no pity,
    but I wish her the sincerest jealousy.

    We will meet again,
    this pen is a gun,
    and these words are the powder,
    I am the bullet,
    and you are the paper.

    I have spelt it out clear,
    I've broken my wrists over you,
    and I've stumbled my way to delicacy.
    So Tell her, From Me,
    That I miss "we."

    And in return for my sappy indiscipline,
    that I wish for a thousand sobs and laughs,
    wrapped up in overdoses and late-nite liquor sweats,
    I've shared a bed twice more,
    but I choose the floor.




    Submitted on 2009-10-19 20:58:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I throughly enjoyed this write but i have to say my absolute favorite part was the last two lines. "I've shared a bed twice more, but i choose the floor." This really brought it home to me.
    | Posted on 2009-10-20 00:00:00 | by silentpoison | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179548

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fasade written by jackz
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Yes written by poetotoe
    prison written by ShyOne
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Carry written by saartha
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry