Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Everyday Prince Charming.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Namlooc20
    ASL Info:    26/Male/Spokane, WA
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 359/327/107
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 696
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1292



    Description:
       Just Something I wrote at work quickly.
    Something I advocate, girls don't expect that prince who kills shit. The total badass. Isn't the guy you really want the one who will love you unconditionally in his plaid shirt and shorts?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEveryday Prince Charming.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Its true he canít fly
    And no he doesnít slay,
    Dragons arenít his enemy
    Itís the time of everyday

    Bullets will kill him
    And moving trains will hurt
    Any senseless action
    Heíll live under the dirt

    So his weapons arenít guns
    And swords arenít his skill
    Heíll steal your heart
    His words will kill

    His armor isnít shining
    And his steed isnít fast
    The plaid shirt is still faded
    And his heart dying fast

    For heís not your knight
    Your superhero or badass
    Heís your everyday prince charming
    Wearing nothing but class.

    He could write you a million sonnets
    Show you the sun and the stars
    Protect you from the rain
    And for you collect scars

    Jump in front of a bullet
    Maybe fall for you by chance
    Love you forever
    And ask for this dance

    So believe him when he says
    Iíll be here until the end of days
    And know heís not lying
    Because in your heart is where he stays

    BecauseÖ
    Heís not your shining knight
    Your superhero badass
    Heís not prince charming
    But heís in your heart at last.




    Submitted on 2009-10-20 12:33:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Heyy Kyle
    I think this is really cute. Girl seem to have some kind of expectation for guys to live up to and in my opinion guys put way too much pressure on themselves trying to fill those unrealistic shoes just so they can win over a girls heart. Frankly, I think all girls just want to feel safe and loved, which you clearly state guys are capable of through this piece. The rhymes are simple and sometimes seem a bit forced but generally it gets your point across. They only part that kinda erks me is this.

    And swords arenít his skill
    Heíll steal your heart
    His words will kill

    The last line in that seem kind of off in the syllables and rhyming of the line it is supposed to be matched to.
    Other than that, great piece =]
    | Posted on 2010-01-04 00:00:00 | by giver_of_death | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179566

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    prison written by ShyOne
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    winners circle written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry