Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Everyday Prince Charming.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Namlooc20
    ASL Info:    26/Male/Spokane, WA
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 359/327/107
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 720
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1292



    Description:
       Just Something I wrote at work quickly.
    Something I advocate, girls don't expect that prince who kills shit. The total badass. Isn't the guy you really want the one who will love you unconditionally in his plaid shirt and shorts?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEveryday Prince Charming.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Its true he canít fly
    And no he doesnít slay,
    Dragons arenít his enemy
    Itís the time of everyday

    Bullets will kill him
    And moving trains will hurt
    Any senseless action
    Heíll live under the dirt

    So his weapons arenít guns
    And swords arenít his skill
    Heíll steal your heart
    His words will kill

    His armor isnít shining
    And his steed isnít fast
    The plaid shirt is still faded
    And his heart dying fast

    For heís not your knight
    Your superhero or badass
    Heís your everyday prince charming
    Wearing nothing but class.

    He could write you a million sonnets
    Show you the sun and the stars
    Protect you from the rain
    And for you collect scars

    Jump in front of a bullet
    Maybe fall for you by chance
    Love you forever
    And ask for this dance

    So believe him when he says
    Iíll be here until the end of days
    And know heís not lying
    Because in your heart is where he stays

    BecauseÖ
    Heís not your shining knight
    Your superhero badass
    Heís not prince charming
    But heís in your heart at last.




    Submitted on 2009-10-20 12:33:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Heyy Kyle
    I think this is really cute. Girl seem to have some kind of expectation for guys to live up to and in my opinion guys put way too much pressure on themselves trying to fill those unrealistic shoes just so they can win over a girls heart. Frankly, I think all girls just want to feel safe and loved, which you clearly state guys are capable of through this piece. The rhymes are simple and sometimes seem a bit forced but generally it gets your point across. They only part that kinda erks me is this.

    And swords arenít his skill
    Heíll steal your heart
    His words will kill

    The last line in that seem kind of off in the syllables and rhyming of the line it is supposed to be matched to.
    Other than that, great piece =]
    | Posted on 2010-01-04 00:00:00 | by giver_of_death | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179566

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Carry written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Love written by saartha
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry