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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Paindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: GhiHaD
    ASL Info:    22/Male/Australia
    Elite Ratio:    2.84 - 46/64/24
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 941
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 513



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPaindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Have it your way
    Have it mine
    We need silence in this place

    The night is where i hide
    Deep inside

    Deep inside i pain away time
    In your heart i hope is mine

    Help me deal with what i feel
    Pain and hurt are all too real

    Under the covers we laugh and shiver
    Poison flows through me like an ancient river

    This is the time, time to decide
    Please don't leave, don't run and hide




    Submitted on 2004-07-20 22:11:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      PAIN IS SOMETHING I LIVE WITH, what else can you do but take it by the horns and make it a victory anyway you can. Seldom do people relate thinking it is a superfical bleeding heart and not realisticly believable material.
    Now your poem here is to me a bit choppy and the flow is a bit interupted by the short and lengthyness of the varied line structure. Still new is not all bad, just different, and that is good.
    | Posted on 2004-08-30 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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