[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Alone in the Nightdots

    Author: heartless_
    Elite Ratio:    2.46 - 284/251/154
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 763
    Average Vote:    4.7500
    Bytes: 780


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlone in the Nightdots

    Awaken in the night,
    By a scream so frightful.
    A dream so horrifying
    Chills run down her spine.

    So alone she feels in a world
    Darker than the midnight hour.
    Where all her fears come to light,
    A world so far yet so close.

    Trapped by her own thoughts,
    An imagination so over worked,
    Reaching out to the empty bed

    Memories inside her head,
    Of the love she once had.
    That fate cruelly ripped away,
    Taken before his time was up.

    Leaving her whole world shattered,
    Everything breaking, with no cure
    For the night falls upon her once more,
    With no protection from her love.
    No arms to hold her through her fright.

    Submitted on 2009-10-21 14:32:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, your writing has changed so much! -It has very good organization.... ^,^

    I know what this is about and everything, but the way you managed to capture the image of him leaving, and him dying...two separate images that combine in the reader's eye. Awesome. Yet, if I didn't know better I would think that you had a lover that died and you're remembering his death. Intriguing...

    Good write, I know it was emotional for you. Keep it up though. You know as well as I, that it is better to let it out than to try to bottle it inside.

    | Posted on 2009-12-24 00:00:00 | by night_angel | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh gosh, this was great. The imagery it conveyed was perfect. It was so deep, and emotional, it made me sad as I read it. I want to take this person and comfort them!
    | Posted on 2009-10-23 00:00:00 | by Kaygrl | [ Reply to This ]
      This was great... I liked the "abrupt" ending. I do think that you should have added a little more to it but other than that i think you did a great job. Keep up the great work.
    | Posted on 2009-10-22 00:00:00 | by extrEMO | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wavelength written by saartha
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    ME written by jjd
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To written by SavedDragon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]