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    dots Submission Name: Alone in the Nightdots

    Author: heartless_
    Elite Ratio:    2.46 - 284/251/154
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    4.7500
    Bytes: 780


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlone in the Nightdots

    Awaken in the night,
    By a scream so frightful.
    A dream so horrifying
    Chills run down her spine.

    So alone she feels in a world
    Darker than the midnight hour.
    Where all her fears come to light,
    A world so far yet so close.

    Trapped by her own thoughts,
    An imagination so over worked,
    Reaching out to the empty bed

    Memories inside her head,
    Of the love she once had.
    That fate cruelly ripped away,
    Taken before his time was up.

    Leaving her whole world shattered,
    Everything breaking, with no cure
    For the night falls upon her once more,
    With no protection from her love.
    No arms to hold her through her fright.

    Submitted on 2009-10-21 14:32:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, your writing has changed so much! -It has very good organization.... ^,^

    I know what this is about and everything, but the way you managed to capture the image of him leaving, and him dying...two separate images that combine in the reader's eye. Awesome. Yet, if I didn't know better I would think that you had a lover that died and you're remembering his death. Intriguing...

    Good write, I know it was emotional for you. Keep it up though. You know as well as I, that it is better to let it out than to try to bottle it inside.

    | Posted on 2009-12-24 00:00:00 | by night_angel | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh gosh, this was great. The imagery it conveyed was perfect. It was so deep, and emotional, it made me sad as I read it. I want to take this person and comfort them!
    | Posted on 2009-10-23 00:00:00 | by Kaygrl | [ Reply to This ]
      This was great... I liked the "abrupt" ending. I do think that you should have added a little more to it but other than that i think you did a great job. Keep up the great work.
    | Posted on 2009-10-22 00:00:00 | by extrEMO | [ Reply to This ]

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