God this period of darkness
I'm incoherent
I swear I am trying to accurately explain
My... head
Do you think I should seek help?
But I'm definitely flailing.
I think self-destruction is
self-recognition, to some degree
When you've got nothing left it seems
like the most correct option
Do you think I should get this checked out?
When one peers into my eyes
they see the eyes of my mother
and my smile gives my father away
I am removed; I am away
But I am not bloodless
Should I write a book?
Life's a storybook
and these words are bullshit, like every other
and everyone's an asshole
and I can't remember what step everyone else takes next
Why does it not all come naturally?
I could dramatically announce
that my eyes are brimming with tears
but I'm not a liar; I feel nothing
except a secret fear for the future
and isolation I can't explain
Is it really self-imposed like everyone says?
What's my place in the world?
Maybe I'm quick, but
what
does
it
matter
when you can fuck everything up in a heartbeat?
Fuck fuck fuck
in a heartbeat
not spinning down to darkness
just suspended in nothing
fuck-ing noth-ing
So much resentment!
Vulgar language.
I will push it to the limit
as always,
and keep fighting to survive.
You and I obviously share a love for the same expression of vulgarity. [censored] is my favorite word, in other words, both as adjective and noun and verb.
With that said, I think this was well written. I liked the beginning, it drew me into reading the rest, and I didn't have that, "OMG it's finally over..." feel. I even re-read the last part. I think it's quite good.
This is the kind of piece a writer looks at and shrugs away as angst, stupid, and deserving to be overlooked. Not me. I look at this piece and see a string of ideas, and a hell of a lot of potential.
The ideas in this piece rang true to my heart, and caused and unsettling likeness to myself. There’s so much pain, fighting to survive. And I could say, “if only you knew what I know now” but really there isn’t anything to learn besides to look up, let go, and just be yourself, free in the world. But then again I’m probably not much older than you are…
My favorite lines are:
“and I can't remember what step everyone else takes next
Why does it not all come naturally?”
And
“Maybe I'm quick, but
what
does
it
matter
when you can [censored] everything up in a heartbeat?”
And
“but I'm not a liar; I feel nothing
except a secret fear for the future
and isolation I can't explain
Is it really self-imposed like everyone says?”
Believe me I know the feeling…
The whole piece is packed with emotion which is a good quality, to show yourself, and capture the heart of the reader.
Great write, I see incredible potential here
Sorry to be so long winded,
Channie
Submission Name: Definite Bullshit
