God this period of darkness
I swear I am trying to accurately explain
Do you think I should seek help?
But I'm definitely flailing.
I think self-destruction is
self-recognition, to some degree
When you've got nothing left it seems
like the most correct option
Do you think I should get this checked out?
When one peers into my eyes
they see the eyes of my mother
and my smile gives my father away
I am removed; I am away
But I am not bloodless
Should I write a book?
Life's a storybook
and these words are bullshit, like every other
and everyone's an asshole
and I can't remember what step everyone else takes next
Why does it not all come naturally?
I could dramatically announce
that my eyes are brimming with tears
but I'm not a liar; I feel nothing
except a secret fear for the future
and isolation I can't explain
Is it really self-imposed like everyone says?
What's my place in the world?
Maybe I'm quick, but
when you can fuck everything up in a heartbeat?
Fuck fuck fuck
in a heartbeat
not spinning down to darkness
just suspended in nothing
So much resentment!
I will push it to the limit
and keep fighting to survive.