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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Definite Bullshitdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: awastedsky
    ASL Info:    22/f/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 116/151/98
    Words: 230
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 630
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1641



    Description:
       whatever whatever


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDefinite Bullshitdots
    -------------------------------------------


    God this period of darkness
    I'm incoherent
    I swear I am trying to accurately explain
    My... head
    Do you think I should seek help?

    But I'm definitely flailing.

    I think self-destruction is
    self-recognition, to some degree
    When you've got nothing left it seems
    like the most correct option
    Do you think I should get this checked out?

    When one peers into my eyes
    they see the eyes of my mother
    and my smile gives my father away
    I am removed; I am away
    But I am not bloodless
    Should I write a book?

    Life's a storybook
    and these words are bullshit, like every other
    and everyone's an asshole
    and I can't remember what step everyone else takes next
    Why does it not all come naturally?

    I could dramatically announce
    that my eyes are brimming with tears
    but I'm not a liar; I feel nothing
    except a secret fear for the future
    and isolation I can't explain
    Is it really self-imposed like everyone says?

    What's my place in the world?

    Maybe I'm quick, but
    what
    does
    it
    matter
    when you can fuck everything up in a heartbeat?
    Fuck fuck fuck
    in a heartbeat
    not spinning down to darkness
    just suspended in nothing
    fuck-ing noth-ing
    So much resentment!

    Vulgar language.
    I will push it to the limit
    as always,
    and keep fighting to survive.




    Submitted on 2009-10-22 02:00:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You and I obviously share a love for the same expression of vulgarity. [censored] is my favorite word, in other words, both as adjective and noun and verb.

    With that said, I think this was well written. I liked the beginning, it drew me into reading the rest, and I didn't have that, "OMG it's finally over..." feel. I even re-read the last part. I think it's quite good.
    | Posted on 2009-10-22 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      This is the kind of piece a writer looks at and shrugs away as angst, stupid, and deserving to be overlooked. Not me. I look at this piece and see a string of ideas, and a hell of a lot of potential.
    The ideas in this piece rang true to my heart, and caused and unsettling likeness to myself. There’s so much pain, fighting to survive. And I could say, “if only you knew what I know now” but really there isn’t anything to learn besides to look up, let go, and just be yourself, free in the world. But then again I’m probably not much older than you are…

    My favorite lines are:
    “and I can't remember what step everyone else takes next
    Why does it not all come naturally?”

    And

    “Maybe I'm quick, but
    what
    does
    it
    matter
    when you can [censored] everything up in a heartbeat?”

    And

    “but I'm not a liar; I feel nothing
    except a secret fear for the future
    and isolation I can't explain
    Is it really self-imposed like everyone says?”

    Believe me I know the feeling…

    The whole piece is packed with emotion which is a good quality, to show yourself, and capture the heart of the reader.

    Great write, I see incredible potential here
    Sorry to be so long winded,
    Channie
    | Posted on 2009-10-22 00:00:00 | by dthforeverpain8 | [ Reply to This ]


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