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    dots Submission Name: To Him (as he sleeps)dots

    Author: dismal_s child
    ASL Info:    19/F/On A Carousel
    Elite Ratio:    3.24 - 451/419/172
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 760
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 759


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    dotsTo Him (as he sleeps)dots

    You are sprawled so lazily, pale in the darkness of our room,
    the dust-coated blinds block the sun from disturbing you.
    There are words of yours polluting the air,
    Like smoke or smog, making me cough,
    It's entirely unfair.
    Things I just can't understand,
    Doubts, and deductions, conclusions, so negative,
    But, I never hear an "I can't"
    Why must it be about me?
    My skills under the 'scope?
    You must have some faith in me!
    At least that's what I hope.
    Now you dream, so lazily.
    And I dream, so big.
    Tell me what dreams are made of,
    and I'll give you a kiss.
    You can't? Ha, I win!

    Submitted on 2009-10-22 14:22:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. I really think by reading this, I now understand a little more why I sometimes wake to my wife starring daggers at me. Can't you all just let us sleep, that's all it is, nothing more nothing less?!?!

    Just kidding... kind of. I did like this post and agree, the end was the best.
    | Posted on 2010-02-02 00:00:00 | by Nicholas Lala | [ Reply to This ]
      I felt that it started out strong but then kind of fell off. it seemed like it was lost within itself. I will say the first eight lines are really good.
    | Posted on 2009-10-22 00:00:00 | by Darkest Flaw | [ Reply to This ]
      Lol this was great. I loved it, at first it was ok, and moved in with a better understanding. Then the "You can't? Ha, I win!" Lol just awesome. Keep up the write, hope to read more.
    | Posted on 2009-10-22 00:00:00 | by KindredSpirit | [ Reply to This ]

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