Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Almost Midnightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MidnightSun89
    ASL Info:    21/M/N.M
    Elite Ratio:    6.45 - 63/31/27
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 828
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1131



    Description:
       "This night shall thy soul be aquired of thee" - W.B


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlmost Midnightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Iron arms stretch across the river. My reflection on the cold blue water below me.

    Before this I was in at the burial, there a city of tombstones. Some with colorless flowers twisting with the wind, as if in pain to neglect. Who will come to lay some color on my grave? Who will be there to wet the dark earth with sadness? Stand by me forever. Donít send me out there to gather my soul alone.

    I thought by having you I was able to reconcile some part of the past with the future. But what future is there now with me? Past this spot where I stand there is a vast darkening city. I see streets and lonely lampposts. I see the dim window lights and the far off silhouettes of skyscrapers.

    I watch the river move slowly beneath me. So cold this time of night. No soul walks the bridge. No one seemingly as far as I can see. I had kept a picture of her. But I wont ever look at it, its just to know I wont forget.

    My arms stretch the length of the stone cinder. My reflection to meet me on the water below me. 200 feet below. I am this. Here I fall to dark water.




    Submitted on 2009-10-24 14:33:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      so sad, so much sad sad sad emotion, but so beautifully displayed in a way i can definatly relate.

    i love it how you used the big city to intertwine with the pain your feeling from someone leaving you, its so true everything you said. from the first letter to the last.

    truly a favorite piece, i feel like a lot of effort, thought, and emotion went into this, and the reader definatly can feel it. so its well placed.

    i call a favorite line, "Donít send me out there to gather my soul alone." -

    where did you learn to write like this!? its so amazing. its one sentence and yet it says so much, so much depth.

    i dont feel the language was rough at all, i have to disagree with the previous comment. it seems well fitted to the meaning behind the piece. sometimes certain pieces require different language, and even if it is just your natural way of talking, i believe it fits well.

    KUDOS.

    MDP
    | Posted on 2009-11-02 00:00:00 | by MysterydarkPoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I think sometimes I'd like an unmarked grave in an unlikely place... how odd to find someone sleeping on you in a green field.

    I like what you've written, but it seems a little rough-ish language-wise. To be truthful (my downfall) I glanced over to see if you were new to English or something. You're not one of those french Canadians are you?

    Anyway, you have a beautiful expression of thought.
    | Posted on 2009-10-24 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179690

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Promise written by annie0888
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Incubus written by monad
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Giving written by jjd
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    This written by Chelebel
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry