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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Almost Midnightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MidnightSun89
    ASL Info:    21/M/N.M
    Elite Ratio:    6.45 - 63/31/27
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 786
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1131



    Description:
       "This night shall thy soul be aquired of thee" - W.B


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlmost Midnightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Iron arms stretch across the river. My reflection on the cold blue water below me.

    Before this I was in at the burial, there a city of tombstones. Some with colorless flowers twisting with the wind, as if in pain to neglect. Who will come to lay some color on my grave? Who will be there to wet the dark earth with sadness? Stand by me forever. Donít send me out there to gather my soul alone.

    I thought by having you I was able to reconcile some part of the past with the future. But what future is there now with me? Past this spot where I stand there is a vast darkening city. I see streets and lonely lampposts. I see the dim window lights and the far off silhouettes of skyscrapers.

    I watch the river move slowly beneath me. So cold this time of night. No soul walks the bridge. No one seemingly as far as I can see. I had kept a picture of her. But I wont ever look at it, its just to know I wont forget.

    My arms stretch the length of the stone cinder. My reflection to meet me on the water below me. 200 feet below. I am this. Here I fall to dark water.




    Submitted on 2009-10-24 14:33:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      so sad, so much sad sad sad emotion, but so beautifully displayed in a way i can definatly relate.

    i love it how you used the big city to intertwine with the pain your feeling from someone leaving you, its so true everything you said. from the first letter to the last.

    truly a favorite piece, i feel like a lot of effort, thought, and emotion went into this, and the reader definatly can feel it. so its well placed.

    i call a favorite line, "Donít send me out there to gather my soul alone." -

    where did you learn to write like this!? its so amazing. its one sentence and yet it says so much, so much depth.

    i dont feel the language was rough at all, i have to disagree with the previous comment. it seems well fitted to the meaning behind the piece. sometimes certain pieces require different language, and even if it is just your natural way of talking, i believe it fits well.

    KUDOS.

    MDP
    | Posted on 2009-11-02 00:00:00 | by MysterydarkPoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I think sometimes I'd like an unmarked grave in an unlikely place... how odd to find someone sleeping on you in a green field.

    I like what you've written, but it seems a little rough-ish language-wise. To be truthful (my downfall) I glanced over to see if you were new to English or something. You're not one of those french Canadians are you?

    Anyway, you have a beautiful expression of thought.
    | Posted on 2009-10-24 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]


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