Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 6 monthsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xieno
    Elite Ratio:    2.41 - 7/16/24
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 494
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 928



    Description:
       Written for my amazing, beautiful boyfriend, Markus, for our 6 month anniversary next Monday. Art is a huge part of both our lives so I thought it would be a nice theme. He is my drive, my inspiration and just the reason for all the good in my life right now. I'm completely in love with this boy and he deserves the whole wide world, and this little song is just my way of saying thanks for the best 6 months I've ever experienced.

    Note: I haven't written much, hell, at all in along long time. So sorry if this is a little scratchy. I'll probably go back over it when I feel like it. Hope you enjoy whats here now though.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots6 monthsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You told me that artistry is unoriginal
    But the canvas world we live in is one of a kind
    You are my Picasso and I'll be your brush
    Your embrace can varnish the brown Autumn neon
    Our love will stain the night in deep scarlet.

    And I'll never forget
    That radiant May day
    The day you came
    And saved my life
    And I know now that
    Even the simplest works of art
    Can be so damn beautiful

    I stretch for your brush
    The bristles that make up who you are
    The colors I fell in love with
    Are suddenly no longer there
    But I suddenly realize youre shedding your prior colors
    For me

    And I'll never forget
    That radiant May day
    The day you came
    And saved my life
    And I know now that
    Even the simplest works of art
    Can be so damn beautiful




    Submitted on 2009-10-26 22:00:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The repitition was interesting, and all together this is a beautiful poem. Nice work, I hope the one you have written it for feels the same.
    | Posted on 2009-10-27 00:00:00 | by halfjack | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179773

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Giving written by jjd
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry