Description: A song I wrote for my ex-girlfriend when we were still together...
Last Night I Saw An Angel -------------------------------------------
Ever since I met you
Right there when I need you
When I asked you to stay
Just for another day
Last night I saw an angel
Well maybe it was really you
She was standing right beside me
As traffic was passing through
It could have been a dream
But it all seemed so real
When I close my eyes
You’re everywhere around me
I hate the fact you’re not here
No-one to wake up with
To crawl up and feel safe
Ever since I met you
Right there when I need you
When I asked you to stay
Just for another day
Holding hands while walking home
With that smile upon your face
Is something that makes me happy
Happy that you’re on my mind
Last night I saw an angel
And I’m sure that it was you
You stood there right beside me
With that smile upon your face
You always cheer me up
When I am feeling down
I’m counting down the days
We will soon be reunited
Amazing poem! :D I love how engraved into your mind you make this person sound! It's mesmerising! ...but there are a few problems regarding grammar and rhyme. I know rhyme isn't madated for a poem since the invention of free verse but it kinda seems like a let down when you read the first stanza and think "okay, it's a rhymer" only to find that there are sparse rhymes through the meter. Grammar wise, it doesn't quite follow English standards sentence or poem wise with puctuation, making it a run on poem, a bit comfusing on where to start and stop and somewhat less emotional. While you did a REALLY great job with it, I think you could, potentially, make it more mysterious and loving if you were to explain a little more and make some more "emotionally moving" sentences. I hope you found this to be constructive :).
Submission Name: Last Night I Saw An Angel
