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Submission Name:
Drowning
--------------------------------------------------------
Author:
PopRocksRae
ASL Info:
16 going on 17
Elite Ratio:
2.72 - 174/201/192
Words:
113
Class/Type:
Poetry/Trapped
Total Views:
23
Average Vote:
No vote yet.
Bytes:
702
Description:
Nightmares. always having them.this is one of them.
Drowning
-------------------------------------------
The water closes over me
I stand up taller.
I'm tied down to a rock.
I'm going under.
Did anyone hear me?
I'm yelling as loud as I can.
The waves crash over my head.
I have nowhere to stand.
The water seems so dirty.
It can take me under now.
I wanted to be free.
But the waves force me down.
They grab me like a hand.
I'm tired and reaching out.
I give up on myself.
the drowning can take me out.
I wake up in the night.
It is still haunting me.
The waves are nowhere to be found.
But I know I'll never be free.
Submitted on 2009-10-28 18:40:12
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||| Comments |||
This is good! It has a gripping story, and an excellent structure and rhyme scheme. Makes one want to comfort and reassure you about the bad dream!
Nice work!
| Posted on 2009-10-29 00:00:00 | by
Ron Cole
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