Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A'poiseddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 137/244/159
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 621
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 790



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA'poiseddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am brimming. Aípoised upon the balcony
    Of women, to touch and fiddle their malicious lips
    Cried down, winter meltdowns annexed
    By my feet, oggling the surreptitious fantasies
    Of mills upon the swollen horizon.

    It blabbers dirty secrets and musthaves, agony,
    St Agnes rotting in her deceased mind,
    What more crave are you looking for?

    Itís not enough; agility is ruptured immeasurably
    As if itís springed from under the bed
    With a sharp ungroomed finger.
    Let me out, I cry to you, let me breathe,
    Explode the sunshine, like a clerk ,
    Snide creased bella donnas behind the desk.

    Carved, settled, burlesque,
    I am tainted, stunted, bosom-less, forgiven.




    Submitted on 2009-10-30 01:45:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      love the ending of this piece...St. Agnes, martyred at 12---no chance to grow into a woman...

    "let me breathe" too often misspent youth stifles adulthood...or abuse at an early age doesn't allow for someone to grow up without being tainted..it's like the spirit is martyred at a young age...we go out onto that balcony thinking of a jump---

    another really deep, insightful piece from you.

    jacob

    | Posted on 2011-07-04 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179885

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    This written by Chelebel
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Incubus written by monad
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Genesis written by saartha
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry