Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mirror Mirrordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: trynfinity
    ASL Info:    38/f/California
    Elite Ratio:    4.43 - 149/145/91
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 662
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 888



    Description:
       Mirror mirror on the wall
    tell me what you see.
    Do you see the exact same things
    that I when I look at me?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMirror Mirrordots
    -------------------------------------------


    Mirror mirror on the wall
    tell me what you see.
    Do you see the exact same things
    that I when I look at me?

    I see a total failure
    a mistake that never should have been.
    Someone who didn't deserve his love
    who doesn't deserve to live.

    I see someone who's ugly
    who cannot be desired because of that.
    Someone who isn't worthy
    a mere disappointment and that's the facts.

    I see a desperate person
    who knows she can't be loved.
    Who knew no matter how hard he tried
    he'd leave because of who she was.

    Someone who fails the ones that love her
    embarrass them all in time.
    So mirror mirror tell me please
    is the reflection you see inside?


    Heather Kemper
    October 28,2009




    Submitted on 2009-11-01 18:13:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this one brought me back and brought me back to thoughts of sylvia plath's "Mirror"

    she felt so unlovable ----and so unloved and when she looked in the mirror, she did not like what she saw...


    such a piece that should have gotten much more comment---

    but then many here don't like "depressing."

    yet, as Sylvia always said..."readers want to hear it from someone who has been there and felt the worst"---
    | Posted on 2012-10-09 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Thank you for your time and your thought...about the fourth line, you're right it was a typo. Thank you for pointing it out.
    As for my reflection, it's been a long time since i've seen anything but..what is written here, if i ever truly have.
    | Posted on 2011-04-11 00:00:00 | by trynfinity | [ Reply to This ]
      ps

    something in that 4th line...i keep wanting to read it "than I" just feels pretty awkward in that spot...maybe some way to smooth that out?
    | Posted on 2011-04-08 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      beauty is on the inside...and when we look inside of ourselves, we hope to find a reflection we can live with.
    regardless of how others look at is...
    their view is often skewed by what they want from us.

    sometimes rejection from another can cause us to reject ourselves...but really we should take a closer look into that mirror...

    maybe we will realize what we see is not bad, but good...

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-04-08 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    179943

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Cover written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Carry written by saartha
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Fasade written by jackz
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Push written by JanePlane
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    untitled written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry