Emotionaly Blank by IleriahMarie

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Submission Name: Emotionaly Blank dots

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Author:	IleriahMarie
Elite Ratio:	4.17 - 11/12/14
Words:	134

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	22
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	816

Description:

Emotionaly Blank dots

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I can feel myself slipping, so far away.
The addiction I once called friend,
now you are a repulsive, arrogant enemy...

No, please, stop calling out my name,
you know I cannot resist your plea.
You so sweetly, wrap your arms around me;
smothering me, please let go...

Numbness then sets in, filling my whole
body with nothing but tingles. No sorrow,
no joy, no fear, and no worries....

I am withdrawing within myself,
locking myself away once again in that dark room.
I never thought I would have to go back,
but here I am... writing to you.

I have fallen back into my addiction,
and I fear that I will never escape again.

Submitted on 2009-11-01 19:01:40 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
I can feel myself slipping..,
Slipping so far away.
You, the addiction I once called friend,
Are now a repulsive, arrogant enemy.

No.., please, stop calling out my name!
You know I cannot resist your strangled pleas.
So sweetly, you wrap your arms around me,
Smothering me; please let me go!

Numbness sets in..,
Filling my whole body; tingling throughout me.
No sorrow, no joy,
No fear, and no worries remain.

I am withdrawing inside myself;
Locking myself away in that dark room once again.
I never thought I would have to return,
But here I am now, appealing to you.

I have fallen back into my addiction,
And this time, I fear I will never escape.

I would recommend these minor changes to your poem. Overall, a good read. I can relate to this feeling. At first, a life of addiction seems colourful, exciting, and an easy way to escape the hard lines of reality; the hum-drum mediocrity that most people call normalcy. But in the end, it takes you to the exact opposite place you wanted to go. Eventually, you become in every way as much or even more of a slave to your addictions than the "normal" members of society are to their jobs, their money, their things. At first, the drugs seem to be a solution, a way of self-regulating and medicating. If nothing else, they seem an effective means of escape. Part of the lie is also that it is fun, and at first, it can be. But then your world becomes smaller and smaller, ever more tailored to feeding the insatiable needs driven by mental and physical addiction. This is always progressive, with life looking ever bleaker as you realize the drugs/alcohol no longer fill the void you were desperately trying to fill. You feel empty inside, drained of your life and vitality. A confusion also sets in, along with a sense of defeat. You begin to lose your sense of self; the very thing you need to build the confidence necessary to beat this thing, which has seemingly taken on a life of its own. This is no life to live. It is a life behind invisible bars, every bit as restraining as a prison or a straitjacket. It is like chasing a shadow, whose dark depths are ever increasing and cold. But there is hope. I am living proof that addictions can be overcome. Life in the face of reality is hard, in some ways even harder than a life with drugs. But the rewards are so much greater, the world so much larger. The choice seems to be between drugs, and everything else the world has to offer. Hope is never totally lost, even if you feel that way. Feelings aren't everything. It seems that sensitive and passionate people are prone to addictions because they seem to lessen the intensity of feeling. It is in this way that many of our best poets, artists, and musicians are lost forever, depriving us of the wonderful works they were sure to do in the years to come. Don't let it destroy you! It may take many tries, but if you relapse, just get back up and try again. It took many tries before I managed to stay clean. Now that it has been several years, I would never want to go back. Returning to that life would mean certain death for me. I can now look back on the good times, and yes, there were good times, without becoming entangled in thoughts of doing it again. Something that has helped me a great deal has been learning how not to separate the ideal (getting high, the rush, the numbing effect), with the consequences, which are many. They come as a package, and one cannot be had without the other. Although I have gained experience, the consequences have been severe. Years later, there are many I am still trying to amend. If I could go back, I would not do it again, because it's not worth it. There are other, better ways to gain experience and live a life of adventure. Best of luck to you in the future.

| Posted on 2009-11-02 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
I think one of the worst misconceptions about drug addiction is, that things seem to... wait, I'm admittedly high and forgot what I was saying. Honest, s2G, let me think...

OH! That problems go AWAY! (Well, they don't, just your sentences!) They just kinda... lessen in priority and intensity to make your stomach queasy.

Nice write.
| Posted on 2009-11-01 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]

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