[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: This Aint No Picnincdots

    Author: arod44
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2/0/3
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Venting
    Total Views: 398
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1080

       It's about a Cigar-smoking, egotistical, self-centered, too loud-for-his-own-good type of boy. I don't know how common the phrase "This aint no picnic" is, but he said it all the time, like it never got old or something... Any thoughts?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Aint No Picnincdots

    I hate your stupid phrase
    the one you thought
    applied to everything
    that I was beginning

    but how right you were
    you still have no idea
    like you still donít
    about what went wrong

    it wasnít a walk in the park
    when you babbled on and on
    or when you rambled about
    how you never want to marry

    there were no blue skies
    when you dropped me off
    on the corner of my street
    like you couldnít go more

    no chirping birds sang
    when your chapped lips
    found mine or when your
    tongue lingered inside

    definitely no soft breeze
    blew in my face as your
    stocky cigar scent invaded
    my nose, eyes, and mouth

    no cozy blanket lay beneath
    our awkward bodyís as your
    hands found my hair and
    tangled clumsily to tear

    to put it quite frankly
    into your fried brain
    I will just say, youíre right
    this really isnít a picnic.

    Submitted on 2009-11-02 18:39:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]