[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: This Aint No Picnincdots

    Author: arod44
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2/0/3
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Venting
    Total Views: 409
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1080

       It's about a Cigar-smoking, egotistical, self-centered, too loud-for-his-own-good type of boy. I don't know how common the phrase "This aint no picnic" is, but he said it all the time, like it never got old or something... Any thoughts?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Aint No Picnincdots

    I hate your stupid phrase
    the one you thought
    applied to everything
    that I was beginning

    but how right you were
    you still have no idea
    like you still donít
    about what went wrong

    it wasnít a walk in the park
    when you babbled on and on
    or when you rambled about
    how you never want to marry

    there were no blue skies
    when you dropped me off
    on the corner of my street
    like you couldnít go more

    no chirping birds sang
    when your chapped lips
    found mine or when your
    tongue lingered inside

    definitely no soft breeze
    blew in my face as your
    stocky cigar scent invaded
    my nose, eyes, and mouth

    no cozy blanket lay beneath
    our awkward bodyís as your
    hands found my hair and
    tangled clumsily to tear

    to put it quite frankly
    into your fried brain
    I will just say, youíre right
    this really isnít a picnic.

    Submitted on 2009-11-02 18:39:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    ME written by jjd
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    This written by Chelebel
    Stretto written by saartha
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    By the bar written by expiring_touch




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]