Description: I originally wrote this on that Devil site poetry . whatever the fuck. It's for my ex girlfriend, and this dream of her I had after I thought I had put her behind me....wierd thing.
My last dream of you.... -------------------------------------------
Last night made me question my lifes choice
for the past 2 years there's been nothing to rejoice
I met you again but this time on the street
and to my surprise it was with a smile you greet
I hugged you asked you to dinner once more
you agreed and walked through the open door
so happy I was when you sat with me
My mind was independently Merry and free
my stomach all knotted up with glee
I loved you so desperately
We enjoyed the food and walked the road
with our hearts ajoined we glowed
the night was lit with our shared love
Angels smiled as they watched above
and when we shared our first and last kiss
I awoke but something was a miss
I was alone and you were still gone
along with the happiness I was on
all is normal nothing did switch
I'm still Skillz Heckle and you're a...
and here I thought that guys didn't think this way...
I'll agree with munchie though I liked the fact that though you had this "sweet dream" and it was filled with the love you must've had for her when you woke up you were still able to admit reality and remember her for who she really is and not for what you wanted her to be.
nice... I'm not looking forward to the dreams that are going to haunt me starting soon..my fiancee dumped me last night. But I really liked this.. it made me wish for the guy back even more. ~Amanda
The rythm was maybe just a bit off at places. Other than that. Great story told. Like a dream more than a reality happened. And even though you loved the fact that she was there at the time. When it was all over you still considered her a ... Great.
I love that ending! You were getting all mushy and sentimental and feeling all sad about the way things turned out and then..presto.. you remembered you did not lose such a prime package afterall.
The mind plays tricks in dreams. You relived some of the good times...That's not a bad thing.
i like this one but i think you used that ending once before i'mnot totally sure.. either that or i read it before i left and now i'm back and re-reading ohhh well it's still good either way.
Yeah, i have to agree the others, great ending man. Got me thinking. I like those poems that have a story element behind them, even if it was just a dream in this work its still a story more than i can write. Great job.
hahhahah thats funny. makes my top 10 best ways to end a poem. And I believe it is an artform.
The rhyme scheme is a little quarky and awkward but my god all is forgiven for the awsome content. If you wanted to make this better I'd say work on tightening up the ryhme scheme. But I'm a pretty picky guy and I enjoyed it just the way it was. Cool poem man!
Submission Name: My last dream of you....
