Awake! In the middle of the night. --- I'm thinking of you.
Should I be? I honestly can't get you out of my mind. This is a tragedy. Romeo and Juliet couldn't compare.
Okay. Maybe I'm exaggerating. Lonely and tired of a constant headache. The constant headache of thinking about you.
My First Love. Yes, a regret I will have for many years. You are the one and only.
It gave me experience --- insight into a whole world. A world that spiffed up my writings and poems. Of course I could have did without it all. All of it! Who needs experience? Who needs suffering? Now that I can write from experience about heartache and how the world screwed me, what good does that do? I don't have you.
You is all I need. To have a place in the world. How can you tell someone you love them --- you love them, without seeming a stalker.
I love you.
How could I not? You were my best friend. I miss your laughter...your voice. You were kind and timid. And you never judged me. Never.
Loyal, you were loyal too. Silly, shy, sweet, understanding, worth more than anything to me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for remembering you. You probably don't want to be remembered.
I just always wanted you to know how you made me feel. Listening to me. Being my friend. You were my friend.
I wanted more.
Should I have? You gave me a friendship. Should I have craved it? Was it natural? Sorta like being handed half your heart and wondering where the rest is.
I shouldn't have --- shouldn't have --- believed so much in you. I shouldn't have rested all my hopes in you. I should have expected you to be human, respected your feelings more.
Should I have loved you?
Is that what you feared? I resented you because you leaned on her more than me. I wanted you to know that she was temporary, but me --- I would be your friend to the end...and more if you ever needed it.
I love too hard. I know it. I apologize for that too. I am loyal beyond the human limit.
Yes, it hurt. Always wondered if it hurt you too? If you were affected by it?
If not, then fuck it!
I'll go to my grave thinking of you. |
Submission Name: Thinking Of You
