Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Falling Through the Ceilingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 925
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 366



    Description:
       Beginning of a piece. Inspired by the instrumental of "Hello" by Blackfield.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFalling Through the Ceilingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Another step is broken,
    I'm falling, the floor around me opens;
    Swallow all my faults but,
    I'm standing, the concrete floor feels colder

    Close myself completely,
    In hollow, and numbness that won't leave me
    And inside
    The wars I range, still bleeding
    I am, falling through the ceiling.




    Submitted on 2009-11-04 17:08:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I can't find exactly the words to describe the feeling I have from this poem but it works. I like your play with the words, the rhythm and the off rhymes all work wonderfully.
    | Posted on 2009-11-05 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    180074

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Genesis written by saartha
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Commencement written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry